Swingers thread

[NewbiePacker]

Been there done that...

[akfa]

ive wanted to, but my gf/x gf i guess u could say, was always very jealous so we never got to that point. i wanted to try to let her be with other guys too but she would always talk the talk, never walk the walk. i think itsa great thing for trusting relationships.

[Gatekeeper777]

One thing some people have is jelousy issues. we dont own each other. but we allow one another to explore our hottest deepest sexual desires. and if done SAFELY and with agreement of all parties then I see nothing wrong.
I care about my wife DEEPLY and wnat to let her experiance life and NOT be stuck in a humm drum life. We sometimes forget that and fall into a rut. To some people it is a real turn on to see their pasrtner getting pleasured by another woman or man or 2. The combinations are endless as are the games and scenarios. We have met politicians to school teachers to PTA moms. lol
you would be surprised. you are only limited to your imagination and inhibitions.
Some people feel like they will loose their partner for a better piece of ass. Well that can happen but is very rare. its just SEX nothing else. and its not like most people will hop into bed without getting to know ya first.
but thats always usually the main goal.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

Okay, I finished running my errands for the day, and now I can settle in for an educational conversation.
I'm still trying to figure out the point of being married if you're going to fuck other people. What is there in your relationship that's special and unique just for you two to share and you alone? Why bother getting married? Why not just date, or live together?

And I don't understand the term "it's just sex." Sex is powerful. Whether people like it or not, when people have sex, they share a part of themselves, a part that they can't get back.

I love sex. When I was single, I fucked everything that wasn't nailed down. But when I made a conscious decision to be with one person, I stuck by it.

Let me tell you a story...
When my fiance and I were early in our dating, we discussed swinging. We signed up on a website, exchanged e-mails with a couple of folks, but it never got off the ground. You know why? We finally had a talk about it, and discovered that neither one of us wanted to do it, because the thought of seeing the other one with someone else was too painful. This made us realize we had fallen in love with one another. The swinging discussion was put to bed (pardon the pun) right then. For us, multiple partners is something that happens when you're not in love with someone. But once we fell in love with each other, we had no desire to be with anyone else. As far as I'm concerned, another man is not fit to shine my shoes, much less put his dick in me.

And before you dismiss me as "vanilla", let me say that he and I do things that make some of our swinger friends look at us in shock (and sometimes disgust ). The difference is, we only do them with each other.

[Gatekeeper777]

hmmmmmmm,
I guess I have no jeolosy, I desire to see my significant other happy. No man or woman is created equal. I would hate to limit my wife to the "same ol same ol" or she would hate to limit me because she is afraid to try it.

My wife is very Bi, so should I make her surpress her bi side because she is married to me? To me thats like making a person deny who they are. So i let her explore her sexuality and we share in it and belive it or not it brings us closer together because we better understand what we want and who we are.
If you asked your husband about it would he object? If he asked you about it would you object?
I also think your mixing sex with love. sex is sex just without the love. My wife and i do make LOVE. but we also have some fanfuckingtasic sex.
Sex is powerful and sex can be used as a tool, it can be used against someone to control them and can enslave them. One should NEVER use sex to overpower another.
To say that I must not love my wife because I let her fuck another woman or another man is false and WAY off the mark, I do love my wife with all my heart I love her enough to let her experiance life and her own sexuality and I am comfortable enough to know that at the end of the night when the adventure is over she will be leaving with me. If you love someone let them go, if they love you they will come back.
My wife is NOT my property she is free to make her own choices. This makes her happy as she knows she can confide in me about anything, including things taboo.

[Jack the Tripper]

I've never been in a serious enough relationship to have any idea what swinging would be like, although I suspect I'd be all for it.

I have a different view of sex than most people. Casual sex, I think of as something that can be friendly. The same way you might hug someone to comfort them, you could have sex with them for fun. The same kind of person I'd enjoy watching a movie with, I'd enjoy making out with. I have a few friends that are also like this, they seem to spawn from friendships in which there is a mutual sexual attraction but no feelings deeper than friendly. I like to think of this as the "hippie" look at sex, especially because so many people might call me a "whore" lol

um,

I just realized, I'm pretty blazed, so that maybe doesnt make much sense. Maybe I'll come back and look at it once sobre

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

What does being bi have to do with it? I'm also bi. I've had at least 3 serious relationships with women, and numerous casual and not so casual dating and sex experiences with women. But I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by being faithful to my fiance. If I was in love with a woman, I wouldn't sleep with anyone but her either. My thing is, if I'm in love, I don't even want to sleep with someone else. Sure I see people that I think are attractive, but I never feel a twinge or a regret, like I'm missing out on something. I literally don't have the faintest desire to be with someone else. The very thought leaves me cold. I don't feel limited at all. If anything, I feel more free than I did before we met. We have such intimacy that I feel I can do, say, or be anything and any way around him.

And I never said you didn't love your wife. I said that when we (Papi and I) fell in love, the idea of swinging didn't hold any appeal for us.

And one question I keep asking, that other people I've asked haven't answered either is: What is it that makes the relationship between you and your wife special? Is there something that you guys have/do that you don't have/do with anyone else in the world that makes your relationship unique? If you two are sharing the most intimate bond with others, then what bonds you two together so closely that it merits taking marriage vows? (I think the concept behind this question is hard to express in text. I'll keep trying.) Like, what makes you, you?

I also think your mixing sex with love.

Well I certainly hope I am, since I am going to be taking vows to love this man the rest of my life. Our relationship is such that, even when he ties me up, pulls my hair, and calls me a dirty slut, it's still lovemaking.

If you asked your husband about it would he object? If he asked you about it would you object?

I stated in my previous post that when we were relatively early in our relationship (about 4 months into it), we discussed swinging. Then, as it became apparent we weren't going to actually do any swinging, we had a discussion about it. It turned out that neither one of us wanted to do it, but we were each afraid of disappointing the other one, so we didn't say anything about it to each other. It was at this point that we professed our love to one another, and became strictly monogamous. Hell, two weeks prior to that, one of his female friends went down on me following a night of partying. When we had the "i don't wanna try swinging" "neither do i" "i'm in love with you" "i'm in love with you too" discussion, he confessed that his feelings were really hurt when I let that girl eat me, but that he didn't want to hold me back if I really wanted to be with other people. So then, I confessed to him that I felt like I had betrayed my own heart and feelings for him by being with someone else.

So see, when I'm in love with someone, I don't want to be with anyone else, so I can't quite wrap my brain around why someone would want to.

Whew. That was like writing a book!

[Jack the Tripper]

:hippy: Greenjeans was all my joy...
Greenjeans was my delight...
Greenjeans was my heart of gold...

:stoned: :jointsmile:

[thCA livin]

Everything in this world is perceived different when it comes to people.

I don't know who said this, but it's actually a decent quote.
"True Love doesnt have a happy ending, Because true love never ends. Letting go is a way of saying I Love You"
-Unknown

[Gatekeeper777]

I dont think my wife and I have anything special that most couple dont have.
I just have the desire to let her be happy.
you say you dont have the least bit of a twinge to be with someone else?
thats nice and very special but not normal. Most people look but not touch.
Most people that do look think about touching and those that think about touching dwell apon it and play out several senarios in their minds eye.
And some of those people even still go ahead and touch with or without permission from their significant other. pollygamy is nothing new.
i know 3 sets of married couples that live in the same house hold. All 3 couples are childless by choice. and they all sleep together.
the wife of one may sleep wherever she feels like.
I call it a CUM UNE. lol
but anyhow, the bond that hold us together is that we care enough about each other to let ourseloves explore life and ALL it has to offer and not be afraid of change, we are not possesive of one another. BTW we did not take the traditional vows of marrage that was santified by the church. Since we BOTH dont belive in a GOD we made up our own vows. God was not in them.
So even tho i let her get shagged by men and she lets me shag the ladies we still are not breaking OUR vows we Made on our special day, and our marrage works for us and our style of living.