I'm pagan, so my vows are not following Christian guidelines either.

But in your case, why get married at all then? Marriage has a lot of negative points. If I could get the benefits of marriage without the negatives, I'd be all for it.

So what does marriage mean to people who don't do the things normally expected in marriage, such as fidelity? Why did you two get married in the first place? Most married people go into marriage with the expectation (although we know the reality is often very different) that the spouses will be monogamous. Marriage is also (probably first and foremost) a business arrangement, a joining of independent corporations, if you will.

So, since ensuring fidelity was not the reason, what was your reason for proposing, and hers for accepting? Or vice versa, I'm aware that not all proposals are initiated by the male.

And while I'm thinking about initiation, whose idea was it for y'all to start swinging, yours or hers?