Swingers thread

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

I'm pagan, so my vows are not following Christian guidelines either.

But in your case, why get married at all then? Marriage has a lot of negative points. If I could get the benefits of marriage without the negatives, I'd be all for it.

So what does marriage mean to people who don't do the things normally expected in marriage, such as fidelity? Why did you two get married in the first place? Most married people go into marriage with the expectation (although we know the reality is often very different) that the spouses will be monogamous. Marriage is also (probably first and foremost) a business arrangement, a joining of independent corporations, if you will.

So, since ensuring fidelity was not the reason, what was your reason for proposing, and hers for accepting? Or vice versa, I'm aware that not all proposals are initiated by the male.

And while I'm thinking about initiation, whose idea was it for y'all to start swinging, yours or hers?

[JeenYuss]

hmmmmmmm,
I guess I have no jeolosy, I desire to see my significant other happy. No man or woman is created equal. I would hate to limit my wife to the "same ol same ol" or she would hate to limit me because she is afraid to try it.

My wife is very Bi, so should I make her surpress her bi side because she is married to me? To me thats like making a person deny who they are. So i let her explore her sexuality and we share in it and belive it or not it brings us closer together because we better understand what we want and who we are.
If you asked your husband about it would he object? If he asked you about it would you object?
I also think your mixing sex with love. sex is sex just without the love. My wife and i do make LOVE. but we also have some fanfuckingtasic sex.
Sex is powerful and sex can be used as a tool, it can be used against someone to control them and can enslave them. One should NEVER use sex to overpower another.
To say that I must not love my wife because I let her fuck another woman or another man is false and WAY off the mark, I do love my wife with all my heart I love her enough to let her experiance life and her own sexuality and I am comfortable enough to know that at the end of the night when the adventure is over she will be leaving with me. If you love someone let them go, if they love you they will come back.
My wife is NOT my property she is free to make her own choices. This makes her happy as she knows she can confide in me about anything, including things taboo.

my gf/soon wife is bi too an we have a pretty open relationship like we can go fuck other ppl or w/e but for some reason its just like we dont WANT to its like we dont even find pleasure if f*ckin sum1 else

[JeenYuss]

What does being bi have to do with it? I'm also bi. I've had at least 3 serious relationships with women, and numerous casual and not so casual dating and sex experiences with women. But I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by being faithful to my fiance. If I was in love with a woman, I wouldn't sleep with anyone but her either. My thing is, if I'm in love, I don't even want to sleep with someone else. Sure I see people that I think are attractive, but I never feel a twinge or a regret, like I'm missing out on something. I literally don't have the faintest desire to be with someone else. The very thought leaves me cold. I don't feel limited at all. If anything, I feel more free than I did before we met. We have such intimacy that I feel I can do, say, or be anything and any way around him.

And I never said you didn't love your wife. I said that when we (Papi and I) fell in love, the idea of swinging didn't hold any appeal for us.

And one question I keep asking, that other people I've asked haven't answered either is: What is it that makes the relationship between you and your wife special? Is there something that you guys have/do that you don't have/do with anyone else in the world that makes your relationship unique? If you two are sharing the most intimate bond with others, then what bonds you two together so closely that it merits taking marriage vows? (I think the concept behind this question is hard to express in text. I'll keep trying.) Like, what makes you, you?

Well I certainly hope I am, since I am going to be taking vows to love this man the rest of my life. Our relationship is such that, even when he ties me up, pulls my hair, and calls me a dirty slut, it's still lovemaking.

I stated in my previous post that when we were relatively early in our relationship (about 4 months into it), we discussed swinging. Then, as it became apparent we weren't going to actually do any swinging, we had a discussion about it. It turned out that neither one of us wanted to do it, but we were each afraid of disappointing the other one, so we didn't say anything about it to each other. It was at this point that we professed our love to one another, and became strictly monogamous. Hell, two weeks prior to that, one of his female friends went down on me following a night of partying. When we had the "i don't wanna try swinging" "neither do i" "i'm in love with you" "i'm in love with you too" discussion, he confessed that his feelings were really hurt when I let that girl eat me, but that he didn't want to hold me back if I really wanted to be with other people. So then, I confessed to him that I felt like I had betrayed my own heart and feelings for him by being with someone else.

So see, when I'm in love with someone, I don't want to be with anyone else, so I can't quite wrap my brain around why someone would want to.

Whew. That was like writing a book!

agreed

[slipknotpsycho]

meh i know me... i can get REALLY jealous... i'd probably end up putting a hatchet in some dudes head

not to mention i have really strong morals... and i just couldn't consciencly do that...

i'm not putting you down for it tho... everyone has a difrent thought process.. and as i said in the other thread, i know the reasoning behind it...

[Gatekeeper777]

I view marrage as a contract. its just a piece of paper stating that you will abide by what you say. lots of people get married without love, there are many reasons people marry........... money just to name one.
altho i am not a rich man. I married my wife for a contractual comitment.
granted our contract may have a shady fine print but non the less we are commited to each other in lifes little turns and we WILL make each other happy as long as we both shall live. Death is forever so make the little time you have here count.
blessed be!!

[kiwi]

:rastasmoke: I beleive in eAch to there own. If a couple has enough trust and security in their relationship then why the hell not swing??? Yes there are risks of STDs etc but most ppl involved with swinging are more than aware of this and they keep it safe.:thumbsup:

[Gatekeeper777]

swingers usually have a close knit group of "FRIENDS" and yes we are more aware then most of the consiquences of our actions.

[vileoxidation]

I view marrage as a contract. its just a piece of paper stating that you will abide by what you say. lots of people get married without love, there are many reasons people marry........... money just to name one.

I don't understand how people view marriage as "just a piece of paper". Yes, it is a contract, but it is more than just a physical contract. It is also an emotional contract between the two people, and this emotional contract is one of the most important that people will ever enter into their entire lives.

Additionally, I want my partner to be happy too, and he wants me to be happy. And there are times that I look at men and lust intensely after them, but I do not need to be with them. It would not make me any happier to fuck someone else then it would to fuck my partner, and it would in fact make me happiest to just spend hours fucking my partner.

We don't get bored in bed together, and we don't get bored in life together. I cannot see how my life would benefit from swinging, and neither can he.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

It would not make me any happier to fuck someone else then it would to fuck my partner, and it would in fact make me happiest to just spend hours fucking my partner.

wOOt! Me too.
That is, I mean to say, fucking my partner. Not yours. Argh, you know what I mean.

[JeenYuss]

I don't understand how people view marriage as "just a piece of paper". Yes, it is a contract, but it is more than just a physical contract. It is also an emotional contract between the two people, and this emotional contract is one of the most important that people will ever enter into their entire lives.

Additionally, I want my partner to be happy too, and he wants me to be happy. And there are times that I look at men and lust intensely after them, but I do not need to be with them. It would not make me any happier to fuck someone else then it would to fuck my partner, and it would in fact make me happiest to just spend hours fucking my partner.

We don't get bored in bed together, and we don't get bored in life together. I cannot see how my life would benefit from swinging, and neither can he.

marriage is nothing but a contract

marrying someone has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with loving somebody

im going to love my girl regardless of whether a little piece of paper says i do or not