Spicing up a 10 year marriage

[Demeter]

I love my husband with all my heart, but even when we met, it wasn't really chemistry that attracted me- it was all about who he was. Now, after 10 years together, never rollicking to start with, our sex life has dwindled to once every two weeks or so. We are definately in a slump! There are other contributing factors - menopause, Prozac (which is why I stopped taking it!) long hours working, etc. Besides that, neither of us makes a move, for me it's because I don't much feel the desire, and for him, since he complains about the lack of sex, I don't think it is lack of desire, but he just isn't a physically demonstrative sort. He has to be pretty drunk to make a pass! I tend to be attracted to bad boys, the kind who push you up against a cabinet and kiss you madly, but those kind of guys never work out well in the long run. So when I met my husband, it was a breath of fresh air not to feel all crazy passionate. They say the things that attract you to a mate end up being the things that bug you after many years together, so maybe that's all it is. But I want our marriage to work, and so I need to find a way to fix this. It's not to the point where we need to see a marriage counselor, but I want to keep from getting there. Has anyone else had this to deal with?

Demeter Reviewed by Demeter on 02-23-2007. Spicing up a 10 year marriage I love my husband with all my heart, but even when we met, it wasn't really chemistry that attracted me- it was all about who he was. Now, after 10 years together, never rollicking to start with, our sex life has dwindled to once every two weeks or so. We are definately in a slump! There are other contributing factors - menopause, Prozac (which is why I stopped taking it!) long hours working, etc. Besides that, neither of us makes a move, for me it's because I don't much feel the desire, and Rating: 5

[Demeter]

I love my husband with all my heart, but even when we met, it wasn't really chemistry that attracted me- it was all about who he was. Now, after 10 years together, never rollicking to start with, our sex life has dwindled to once every two weeks or so. We are definately in a slump! There are other contributing factors - menopause, Prozac (which is why I stopped taking it!) long hours working, etc. Besides that, neither of us makes a move, for me it's because I don't much feel the desire, and for him, since he complains about the lack of sex, I don't think it is lack of desire, but he just isn't a physically demonstrative sort. He has to be pretty drunk to make a pass! I tend to be attracted to bad boys, the kind who push you up against a cabinet and kiss you madly, but those kind of guys never work out well in the long run. So when I met my husband, it was a breath of fresh air not to feel all crazy passionate. They say the things that attract you to a mate end up being the things that bug you after many years together, so maybe that's all it is. But I want our marriage to work, and so I need to find a way to fix this. It's not to the point where we need to see a marriage counselor, but I want to keep from getting there. Has anyone else had this to deal with?
BTW - I posted this in the parenting forum rather than sexuality, because I didn't want replies from a bunch of 16 year olds suggesting sex toys. It's just too annoying

[friendowl]

go somewhere fun
make plans to escape , just the two of you
make plans to have good times together
he likes to drink so maybe you could get drunk together
take a walk and make fun of weird people
go somewhere lake a lake or waterfall and just sit and talk
all that crap leads to good sex which leads to a happy spouse

if that dont work out then its time to call it quits
find a new lover and enjoy your time

life is too short to waste your time on people who you aint happy with

[Dutch Pimp]

....third marriage...1996-2006..R.I.P. the thrill is gone...

..my woman ran off with a brown eyed man...and I don't seen to care....

...got the divorce papers in the mail last week...I lose my mini-farm and everything I have worked for...I quess..I will move back into a shack in town..

...she said...it was because of my lack of sex drive...( I burned out)

...but..she left behind an old computer...that I started playing with (I never touched one before)...and decided to learn how to grow weed. I have (had) the perfect place for that.....plus I can grow anything. Now I am married to weed and this old computer...go fiqure?...I traded sex drive...for hard drive......

...the Lord works in mysterious ways...some like it...some don't....

[foxysox]

Geez Dutch... you will rebuild... you seem like a good man.
And Our Lady of the Compost heap will never let you down.

[Nocturnal Stoner]

I traded sex drive...for hard drive......

lol

[Psycho4Bud]

Usually the best way to spice things up is to get a bit on the freaky side. Oils, toys, maybe some hand cuffs...hehehe

Sounds like the ol' man was pretty conservative to start with though so good luck! My ex-sister in law sounded kind of like you. Had a higher drive but married a man that was just the opposite. Dude really didn't care one way or the other.........she LOVES her toys when he's off to work. Hint, hint

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[napolitana869]

If being tired and stressed out from work is a problem maybe the two of you could go somewhere and just spend the weekend or week to get to know each other again.

[ericwt]

I realize you think it is to early for counseling, however perhaps you should consider it now. It is likely that it would take just a few sessions to help improve the situation.

I might have been able to save my marriage if we would have talked to a
unbiased individual.

It is never to early to get counseling if there is a problem.

It might have saved my ex from growing fangs and craving my blood.

Lucky for me the cure for blood sucking demons is simple. You just give them a huge cash settlement and send them on their way.

Good luck. I am wishing you all the best

[PatrickHenry]

buy some lingerie and just walk up to him wearing it. he'll do you.