Spicing up a 10 year marriage

[Gatekeeper777]

Hey Gatekeeper, would you mind starting a separate thread where I can ask questions about this if you're comfortable with that?

ok, i will try to explain as best that i can but you need to look at it with an open mind.

[TheSmokingMonkey]

Why don't you both do something you are completely uncomfortable with?

Suggestions include....
skydiving
public speaking
wearing suggestive clothing
going to church

anything that normally petrifies you, would be a good thing to do.

You don't both have to do the same thing; you could just compare notes after you split up to do your respective "terrifying" thing.

Bust out of your comfort zone, and if you see him do the same, you might see a side of him you never appreciated before.

[NewbiePacker]

If sex was the reason she bailed, let her go..

Should not be the sole reason to end a marriage.

....third marriage...1996-2006..R.I.P. the thrill is gone...

..my woman ran off with a brown eyed man...and I don't seen to care....

...got the divorce papers in the mail last week...I lose my mini-farm and everything I have worked for...I quess..I will move back into a shack in town..

...she said...it was because of my lack of sex drive...( I burned out)

...but..she left behind an old computer...that I started playing with (I never touched one before)...and decided to learn how to grow weed. I have (had) the perfect place for that.....plus I can grow anything. Now I am married to weed and this old computer...go fiqure?...I traded sex drive...for hard drive......

...the Lord works in mysterious ways...some like it...some don't....

[Demeter]

I am thankful for and am considering all suggestions (well except swinging) and if we both weren't so tired this week, might have implemented them- sigh. We need a break from work, so the week of spring break, next week, we are going to do something fun if it kills us! We are both under so much stress from a variety of causes that we just veg out together- it's pitiful!
Part of the problem is my own self image, I know. The exercise really helps as long as I am patient with my progress. Being off the Prozac is helping already too- I feel less numb. But menopause is weird, so I need to find some kind of supplements to help. I am going to schedule a visit with the doctor, and see what she suggests.
Mrs. G the idea about porn makes sense, except I am leery about internet porn- there is so much out there that I am really not interested in (I am a bit of a romantic, and in movies, I like seduction more than penetration ) is there a porn-lite section?

[birdgirl73]

Demeter, I have some of the same leeriness about porn. I've not found any sites that seem to be the right places for the less overt, more erotica-type, seduction-centered ideas and story lines. This has caused me to dream up and write it for myself and for my husband, something that he enjoys helping with. You're an artiste with great verbal talents. Letting that stuff spin out of your own imagination is a lot of fun. Do you ever read erotica? That's how I originally got interested in it. Then I got two small pieces published a long time ago before I realized that I really had more fun doing it for my own private audience (Dave). It's a fun way to flex your creative muscles and invent for yourself and your spouse what turns you on. Just an idea!

[dutch.lover]

I agree with what Birdgirl has said, and Mrs. G. I think the seduction thing is very important, I know that when I'm not in the mood sometimes but my bf is, and I give him a blowjob- I am always super turned on afterwards!

And lingerie is a great idea too, try something extreme (like a garder belt with thigh high stockings and a pushup bra)...even if you don't feel 100% confortable in it, I guarentee you that your husband will jump you on the spot and that will definitely excite you! Especially since you said that you like the whole bad boy, throw you up against the wall kind of thing (i can relate to this too, i wish my boy was rougher with me ).

Lastly, I think porn is a great idea too. I was against it for a long time, but Im glad curiosity got the best of me, because it actually turns me on quite a bit! If you don't feel in the mood, try watching some on your own and then go hunting for your hubby. Even better- let it slip to him that you watch it by yourself and he will go nuts! If you're looking for sweeter porn (not hardcore stuff), try lesbian porn. It's generally not demeaning to women, or violent, and IMO women in porn are way hotter than men anyways- so watching just women is the best.

[Dutch Pimp]

...Demeter......

....sorry...about interrupting...your thread your thread that day...I was fighting some demons that day too....

[Demeter]

...Demeter......

....sorry...about interrupting...your thread your thread that day...I was fighting some demons that day too....

Dutch pimp- I always like seeing your avatar on my thread
but this new one is not as nice as the other- was the other a pic of you?
Poor dear, I know how horrible divorce is, having survived two. Hang in there- The tide will turn for you- here's a BIG HUG!

[Demeter]

Demeter, I have some of the same leeriness about porn. I've not found any sites that seem to be the right places for the less overt, more erotica-type, seduction-centered ideas and story lines. This has caused me to dream up and write it for myself and for my husband, something that he enjoys helping with. You're an artiste with great verbal talents. Letting that stuff spin out of your own imagination is a lot of fun. Do you ever read erotica? That's how I originally got interested in it. Then I got two small pieces published a long time ago before I realized that I really had more fun doing it for my own private audience (Dave). It's a fun way to flex your creative muscles and invent for yourself and your spouse what turns you on. Just an idea!

What a cool idea! I wish I could read some of your work!
I'm going to give it a try

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

Demeter,
If you'd like to explore some video erotica with a less male oriented approach, I recommend looking into movies by Candida Royalle. An adult perfomer during the so called "Golden Age" of porn, Candida moved into writing, directing, and producing her own line of women and couple's oriented erotica, with more focus on plot, foreplay, and sensuality than your typical gynecological closeup and spurting fluids type porn that is aimed (oh that was a bad pun) at men. Click her name to go to her very tasteful website with the discreet splash page.