Yeah, I've had that mentality at times. I don't know why sometimes, just because I like to make everything a bit more interesting I guess. But, yeah..if you are drinking for your reasons above, weed would probably be a better alternative (I know you can't get any, just saying). I'm not 100% sure what you meant in your last sentence, maybe what I camoflauged (lol) in my above post? But yeah I dunno, if you feel it's wrong to feel that way (see..I don't really..I've developed a 'fuck it, no regret' attitude to substances over the years, and if I've felt that 'bad push' I just take a bit of time off)...then maybe just try to find something to keep yourself occupied or something.