One fine summer eve, aboot 10PM or so, my friend who lived nearby MSN'd me to inform me that he had gathered several people for a smoking session in the woods between our houses. I decided, hell yeah I'm gonna go! So I got ready. I dressed myself entirely in black, gloves and hat and everything...I used some halloween makeup for 'night-time camo' on my face. I also packed a large stick (also black and aboot 4 feet long, incase there were wolves or something) and my cell phone (on silent ring mode). Now fully equipped, I began the mission.

I snuck out of my room (on the second floor of my house, literally the FARTHEST room from the door outside in the entire house). I tiptoed past my sisters' room, down the creaky old stairs, past my other sister's room, past my parents room, past my brother's room, and to the liquor cabinet. I used a tiny can of WD-40 on the hinges, and opened the now silent cabinet doors; I reached inside in the utter blackness and came out with a 40 of fine Jamacain rum. Grinning quietly to myself, I closed the door gently and contined sneaking.

I made it outside without further incident, stepping over the sleeping 'guard dog' and avoiding getting licked in the face. I jogged my way across to the woods; these woods were alongside a road that bordered on the subdivision where my friend TrevortheVampire lived. It would have been infinitely easier and faster to simply walk on the road; it went the same place I was going, and it had lights on it too. But it wouldn't be very ninja-like, so I went crashing into the bushes.

I hiked in the dark for aboot twenty minutes, and realized that my bottle of rum was corked! I couldn't get into it! And it was aboot that time I realized that I had no idea where I was; the paths I knew in daytime were all hiding in the shadows. So I called up TrevortheVampire, and asked him to start a fire so I could find out where they were; he replied with 'we have no fucking lighter, dude, we can't spark the doobs! hurry up and get over here, man!' So I started running into the woods.

Still talking on the cell phone, I came to the top of a hill, where I immediately tripped on a large tree root. The phone went flying, the rum went also, and I beefed hardcore to the bottom of the hill, about 25 feet or so...I got to the bottom, and heard racous laughter from the bushes...apparently TrevortheVampire listened to my horrendous beefage and was laughing his ass off over the phone. I found my cell phone in the underbrush, and hung up on him. Then I used my ninja-hearing abilities and heard laughter coming from the woods to my right! I pulled out my stick, and started creeping in the general direction of the laughing, and I soon came up behind the group of 5 people who were sitting there not smoking weed yet. I managed to get directly between two people without them even knowing I was there, and started the conversation with 'I lost my rum in the woods.'

Everybody jumped a mile, then I laughed, then we smoke a couple doobs while looking for my lost rum...we found it aboot half an hour later, and somehow it had managed to hit a rock just perfectly so that the neck was cracked below the cork. I grabbed the bottle, looked it over in the lighter-light, and finished the job the rock had started. Then I proceeded to get really really drunk and woke up in the woods the next morning, still in perfect camoflage.

It was a hell of a night. I think we may have driven somewhere for some reason, but I can't be too sure.