Wow... it was only a matter of time before someone made this thread and I'm glad you did BFA.

My parents got divorced when I was 5 and my mom moved us clean to the other side of the state... I grew up thinking that since I was living with her, it was my father who pretty much abandoned us... and looked for male approval totally the wrong way when I was older.

I always have dated older guys, including a surpirsingly healthy and sweet 5 year relationship with a guy 19 years older that started when I was 20. We are still close to this day actually; the age difference was too much to really take it any further... but that is beside the point... just some background on what I think is a really common feeling that young women have of needing a man to approve of them.

So I was in a couple of emotionally abusive situations that I was too insecure to really deal with and get out of on my own terms but they all pale in comparison to another- I lived with this guy John for almost 2 years- he's a drinker- Well, I think that when you are drunk your deep hidden personality shows.
And his was not good.

I either didn't see or chose to ignore or was totally in denial about the warning signs- early in our dating he'd get drunk and rude, then drunk and verbally abusive, calling me names and all that lovely shit, and then apologizing the next day with that BS excuse "well I was drunk". Then he started throwing things.

First dishes, then furniture, then finally one night he picked me up by the belt and the throat and chucked me headfirst straight across the kitchen into a cabinet handle.
I still bear the scar to this day, a clean slice through my right eyebrow. I was too ashamed to even tell my parents, so I stayed with him for another month, until my face healed.

Never again.

After that experience I bought my own home and started living my life on my own terms.
You want to play rough, you're doing it on the lawn, and your shit will be out there with you.