Abusive relationships

[420MissHighTimes420]

:stoned:Now I feel dumb for posting that, because I am behind it and everything. But I hope someone can learn from all of these stories, and know that when a red flag goes up i nthe begginign GET OUT BEFORE THE BRING YOU DOWN WITH THEM.

edit: If someone is doing this to anyone of you know that it isn't you! It's never the victims fault for abuse. Some sociopaths and power hungry bastards will make you think you deserve the abuse, which can honstly make it addiciting.
Although I am in a shitty relationship Its not abusive, but I do sometimes think I might be with him because of what I went through. I swear having people make you feel less than you should is a feeling you hold on to.
I put some thought into it and realized that I think we repeat our traumas because we think if we experince the same issues over and over again that maybe just maybe we will be good enough to fix it.

What a wild world.
Sorry for my long rambling ONCE AGIAN but I cant help myself :stoned::stoned::stoned::stoned::stoned::jointsmil e:

[GraziLovesMary]

this thread makes me sad aswell. My heart goes out to all of u who have been through or are going through an abusive relationship.

When I was in 10th grade I dated a guy who was 19 a senior for the second time. He was a big coke head, a sociopath, and a big manipulator. He made me belive that he actually was in love with me. I think he really might have been (I was madly in love with him) but from all of the things he did to himself he was horrible at showing it. One day he would be so sweet, spoil me, treat me like a princess, then the next day he would be flipping out on me. Which I guess makes sense wut with all of the cocain and all. Twice he hurt me so bad. The first time was in feb wen I was 15 - only had sex with two guys and got really attached from it and I wasnt a slut - but one night he fucked me taped it, showed it to everyone. Ruined my repuation. Im proud of myself for going to the same school for 3 years after it because for a good 6 months I would walk down the hall way and all the guys would be asking me out because they thought I was a whore, and all the girls would yell SLUT WHORE PARIS HILTON and PORN STAR at me. It made me feel disgusting.

I have never told anyone this befor but I feel like it, mayeb it should go in the confession forum but w.e. One night after I had gotten back with him it was his birthday so he got the sickest hotel room in NYC at the four seasons. It was amazing. He ruined the speacical night by getting too fucked up. He threw and ash tray at me at one point. Thankfully he was os fucked up it missed me. After he did that I went to lay on the coach, and he kept trying to pull off my pants. I kept yellign at him to stop. And he lost it. Grabbed both of my hands put them behind my back threw me on the floor ripped my pants off and my sweater. Started screaming and cursing at me telling me I was a nasty whore and everyone was right and all of these terrible and untrue things, that I was dumb enough to take to heart. I kept trying to fight him. I managed to get one of my hands loose and starrted digging my nails into him, and all of a sudden he turned into a ragger and just lost it picked me up slammed me agaianst the wall and rapped me for a long time. I didnt kno wut to do after that. I always blamed everythign he did to me on the drugs and they were a lot to blame but it was him and his cowardly ways.He made me feel so dirty and useless. Im crying now just thinking about it. I hate it I saw him recently and still wanted him. He was so obssessed with feeling powerful that he never cared how miserable and degraded me made me feel.

If you abuse women let me tell you right now it makes you a COWARD to have to beat on a innocent woman or man is wrong. Get power from doing good!

[420MissHighTimes420]

And it's still all good :thumbsup:

[GraziLovesMary]

And it's still all good :thumbsup:

it better be! Im the kinda guy that wants to "make it right" for everybody lol. Its a weakness

[psteve]

And it's still all good :thumbsup:

Then dumping the current asshole should be a piece of cake in comparison.
When you feel week, just remember what you have already overcome, and how bad things could get if you let them.

[nibbler]

Hi ye,

What's my story.....Well I was born into an abusive relationship. I was the sixth child of seven kids. My parents are still together happy bickering!!!!!! My father was also physically abusive and extremely controlling to us and my mam. I was a depressed and ANGRY teen I dispised men thought that all they wanted was to control you or use you but secretly underneath all that I was hoping a knight in shining armour would whisk me away.

Then at 17 I met John...He was the first male in the world that was extremely nice loving giving a bit jealous but nothing but love was between us...We married me at25 john was 29 and two years later I was pregnant with our first child a beautiful boy.....Here's where things started to change. I fell pregnant whilst breastfeeding. A huge shock as I returned to work off maternity leave pregnant...I hid it for 5 months. Think I was just trying to get my head around it.

John hit me for the first time whilst holding our 8 month old son I was 4 months pregnant. I was in absolute shock, I coulln't believe that he could do that to me. He knew full well all about my backround. He also knew that I had said in the past that I would find this intolerable behaviour......All I felt was stuck powerless.....It happened on and off over a 5 year period.

Why did I stay....I was ashamed, I felt trapped,I thought I was a failure as a mother a wife an employee.......

It all came crashing down when I drov my kids to my mam's and drove straight to the doctor as I could feel I was on the egde no longer able to tolerate what my life had become....I am still being treated for depression now, every day is a struggle sometimes. I am clawing back my self respect but I am still here still learning, still living, still loving...........I now know things like boundaries, expectations, self belief, so as much as I didn't enjoy it in any shape or form to be treated so viciousley I now have a deeper understanding ..................

Nibbs:rastasmoke:

[stinkyattic]

Heya Nibbs, good work on finding the strength to leave. It's the hardest part.

[DarkHairedSativa]

Here you go ladies, rant/rave/ect. Share your stories and feel for others. I think it's sad that I can make a thread like this but I've noticed that a LOT of girls here have been in some type of abusive relationship, whether is be physical, emotional or mental.

I've been in a few emotionally/mentally abusive relationship and only one mildly physically one. Basically I got into relationships with older men starting at age 13 with a 17 year old. It ended at 15 with a 21-22 year old. I've noticed a lot of women here have reached a point in their life when they said enough is enough and that's why I think this thread will be okay..and maybe it will help someone too.

Ok,so I've waited a little while to post in this thread.... mostly cuz I've been through alot when I think about it and I try not to.No point focusing on the past,eh?My history with men also started at 16 with an 18 yr old.He was mentally verbally and emotionally abusive.he cheated on me all the time and told me I was fat and ugly,when I weighed 90 lbs soaking wet at 5' 7".Of course I believed everything he said to me due to being extremely naive and him being my first serious b/f.That lasted until I was 20 almost 21 and 2 kids later.He also started using heroin and meth intraveniously without telling me.He was not clean about it and didn't ever use condoms when cheating.THANK GOD I didn't ever catch anything while we were together.I was terrified of coming up HIV positive and have had tests done every year for the last 10 yrs.... Of course having kids they do that automatically now.I think it's a good thing. Anyway,after that one I was trapped in a relationship I felt I couldn't get out of and then when i tried he stalked me.That really sucked!! That was a physically abusive relationship and he did time on a felony assault 4 charge.It was 2 yrs long but felt like 10.... then I was with "the one".Everything was great we didn't fight, had the same sense of humor and alot of the same goals.Unfortunately he decided to cheat the night I told him I was pregnant,then bailed with someone else.Then I got with my ex-husband the only one I was married to and after 8 yrs of him not paying the bills,us losing our home 2x and alot of debt and grief later.... we decided to end it too.Seems like there are no truly faithful men out there.... but that's a disheartening thought and I'd like to hold onto some hope....lol Now I'm with my current man and we have a new baby together with quite a gap of 6 1/2 years between my 2 youngest.I love him very much and even though things aren't financially the best at the moment, he loves me and I love him with my whole heart.So that's my list in a nut shell.... 5 relationships,32 yrs old, and 6 kids later.... things are finally looking up. Anyway,BFA, live while you're still young deal with the kids your age and grow up without the mess,Babygirl!!! You got a LONG time to worry about being involved in anything serious,be fickle while you can and enjoy the time you have for fun things and great memories with friends and family.... that's all you really need at your age the there's plenty of other stuff later!!! Love ya Baby!!

Love,Tiva

[Blondasian]

I got rid of my BF on Sept 1st. He was text messaging another chick with romantic text messages. He had cheated on me with her before. When I confronted him he threw me all over the room, started choking me, and trying to force me to suck him so I would know that he hadn't f'ed anyone else that night. I still have a couple marks on my neck. Needless to say I threw all his stuff out the window and told him goodbye. I don't need that in my life.. I have zero desire to talk to him or anyone in his family. There is nothing left to say.

[birdgirl73]

I admire few people more than the people--men and women alike--who get up the courage to leave abusive relationships. It is an immensely hard thing to do, but nothing is a better choice for your life or that of any kids you have. Much love and admiration to you ladies (and any guys to whom this applies, too) who've done this!