and its like, when i dont smoke i cant eat very well.

and that leads to my stomache hurting, then when i go out(rarely) my social anxiety has led me to puke on some occasions, never in front of people but in the bathroom--- i remember being normal, and i honestly miss it--idk what the fuck happened

sometimes i link my unhappyness to my mom, who is sooo nice during the day, then a raging drunken bitch at night smoking cig after cig, and shes 53--im very worried about her health