I know this is lengthy, but I need help. I think I am somewhat known as a regular poster on this forum, but now you guys will know me. I am peaceandlove420 and this is my story and who I am.



To start things off a little backround, I am about 18, physically fit, italian, surf, and I live in the most beautiful place(sd). I am extremely outgoing, everyone at my school knows me (I am not saying everyone likes me I am just one of the people who's very social and says hi to everyone). I charged the field during a championship football game for our school and tackled the oppsoing mascot. I figure from this information you can get the idea of me.
I adore reggae and peaceful music and promote love and unity. I am the hippy of my school so to speak. Its very, VERY right wing where I attend.

getting girls has never been a problem for me. I don't say this to brag, its just how it is. No matter how beautiful the girl, I am not intimidated. I pursue and it always works out (not to say Ive never been denied).
What could be better right?

Wrong.

I met a girl who was different. She stirred up a feeling inside me that I thought long dead. We became the "boyfriend girlfriend thing" I gave her the world, , my heart, she was my queen.

I was youn, well younger, around 15, I admit things got a little intense for me. I broke things off so I wouldnt get hurt. That was my bullshit excuse.

The reall reason is I have commitment issues after my mom died when I was young (5) and my father indulged himself in his work to cope with the pain, I saw him a couple times a year. I grew up neglected, lost, and it fucked me up.

I got a stepmom a few ears later who made me life complete.

I had a family again.

Then she started to beat me and my life ruined once again.


Anyways I am not going to continue to rant about my life, back to the story


I broke her heart. And this hurt me even more. To the point where I made a promise that the next time I found a girl who made me feel this way I would give her everything, the perfect boyfriend, the whole nine. Anything she wants I wanted to give. anything.

So since then two girls have done this in about 3 years. I have had the other girls I talked about and "flings" parties yeah yeah.


The second one had a bf that would cheat on her and break her. But she couldnt leave him becuase she loved him so much. I was there for her always, we became so close. Closer than I have ever been with a girl.

I gave her everything, and some time after they called it quits for good I told her how I felt. She rejected me. I was awestruck, we were so close.

What happened was I turned into the "friend". you know what I am talking about.

So somewhat recently the third girl was everything I could ever want.

On top of all my personal issues, the two times in my life I actually wanted to to the right thing failed, this time I wasn't gonna fuck it up.

or so I thought.

She started pursing me. She was like the female me. She was everywhere at school, talking to everyone. But around me she would smack my ass as she walked by or call out my name evertime she saw me to say hi.

I fell for her. completely. It was perfect, we were super close, but I wasn't the "friend" you know? We always flirted around. WHenever she was hurting I was there of course.

Then the best thing happened, the kept saying she wanted me to call her to talk. Good sign right.

Stuff kept happening couldn't call. trust me it was a good reason and I explained to her.

So at school "peaceandlove we need to talk"

I thought this is it. Its all falling together. The feeling of being at that stage with a beautiful girl is indesribable.


We finally get together to talk. She says "peacelove, I really want to fuck mark" "he's so hot" "o my god you have to help me"

and then goes on to talk to me about ways she can get with him.



Mark is my best friend.


I was broken. It was too much this time. I started avoiding her, we went from some of the closest poeple at the school to awkward. I wouldnt' dodge her or anything, but whenever she saw me or what not I would be normal. I would treat her like a fellow friend, and she noticed and was getting confused as to why I wasn't my fun loving caring self.

She even got to the point she pushed me and I fell through door into the girls bathroom.


I think I am cursed. Maybe I deserve all this pain for what I caused with the first girl, I tell myself that in order to suffice a reason why that out of all the girls, and there have been plenty of bomshells out here, the ONE I wanted not to just fuck but to love and be there for went so wrong. and same with the girl before.

It was laughable how cliche it was. and how the girl before it was with the friend thing. The irony is indescribable.

Anyways I know I must be doing something wrong. But, as of right now I don't think I can do this again. I am too hurt this time, too jaded, too calliced to pull this bullshit again.

I see couples getting together all the time and it pains me how easily things fell together for everyone else.

I just thing the worst part about it is, if a 4th girl ever enters my life that I fall for, I won't be able to give her everything and make her "my queen".

My heart has/and is being hardened.

I accept this curse.
peaceandlove420 Reviewed by peaceandlove420 on . A tale of heartbreak, that keeps going. I know this is lengthy, but I need help. I think I am somewhat known as a regular poster on this forum, but now you guys will know me. I am peaceandlove420 and this is my story and who I am. To start things off a little backround, I am about 18, physically fit, italian, surf, and I live in the most beautiful place(sd). I am extremely outgoing, everyone at my school knows me (I am not saying everyone likes me I am just one of the people who's very social and says hi to everyone). I Rating: 5