I was born on august in the 1990's..

Ill try and type up what i can remember

when i was about 3 my grandad used to do sick things to me n my sister, like its kinda embarssin but basicly he'd get his dick out in front of me, which wasnt really a good start to my life

i was always shy at school, when i first started school i just sat in the corner by myself, then few years later when i was about 5-6 i had a best mate which lasted til i was about 11, when i grew up as a child i was confused by my sexuality because i wasnt sure wether i was SUPPOSE to like boys or girls.. then when i was about 8 i was dignosed with ADHD.. so from then on til i was about 14 i was bein pumped full of different types of ritalin, each with its own side effects, twitchin, not bein able to sleep at night, depression ect.

when i was 12 i started secondry school, i wanted to fit in because i never really fitted in with what was considered the "normal/popular" group, they all knew id give in easyly so they got me to do they're dirty work for them, and basicly id try to impress them.. i got in alot of trouble at that school and people always blamed it on me and i just never decided to stick up for myself, then one day i smacked some kid who was gay (literilly) with a huge metal bar and cracked his head open, then i had to move schools to this catholic school.. now this school was alot different, my pprevoius one was dumb people who liked gettin in trouble.. this school was smart people who pick on those not as smart.. i was put in some of the "speical classes" since i had ADHD n all, and i mixed between friends...people got bored with me easily and i just didnt kno who to trust, then by the time i was about 13-14 i had the choice wether or not i wanted to carry on with ritialin, i chose not to carry on with it since it was givin me sucidle thoughts..

then i made friends with this one guy who im now mates with to this day, and school was okish threw out then, people still made fun of me for bein dumb but i just ignored those people and stayed close to the people who liked me for me. Then when i was about 15 my dad found out about my mum cheatin on him, involved alot of arguements, arguements that theyre still arguein over today.. when my dad found out my mum grabbed a knife right in front of me and tried slittin her wrist, since i was the closest to her at the time i had to grab it off her, fortently she hadnt cut any arteries.

anyway that kinda fucked up shit went on between my parents, left school, went college for few months.. then i hit a depressed stage, i was drunk and i just lost it, got one of those big knifes u use to cut turkeys n shit, slit my wrist open just below the palm of my hand, u cud literilly see ALL my arteriers right in front of me (well once u cleared all the blood up) waited in hospital for hours to get stitches, doc sed i was very lucky cuz i JUST missed the arteriers (literilly JUST missed) and since i had to be waitin for so ong if i did hit an arterier i would be dead.. that was about half a year ago, then after that incident i just dropped out of college cuz i had no motivation to carry on.. and here i am unemployed, im not really depressed anymore, iv gotten threw that stage..

whenever i feel depressed again i just look at the big scar on my wrist and remember how lucky i was that night and that it was truely a miricle and that i wasnt suppose to die that way..im unemployed but happy.. but NEVER in my life not once have i ever been motivated to do anything.. I feel like its my grandads fault alot that im so fucked up in the head but im just livin by n doin fine, ill probaly get a job at some point once i can be bothered, and people always feel they need acomplishment in life, im the opposite.. i dont want or need acomplishment.. i just want to live a stress free life where i can relax and smoke some mary jane

Thats me.