Need guy advice

[Liz418]

I need some advice about a guy. Kinda long story...

Dominic and I have been talking a lot since about late November and he recently told me that he'd like to officially date me. We haven't really had a chance to get to talk one on one for an extended period of time, so I've kind of put it off. My reasoning is that I rushed into a relationship before and it only gave me hell (I'm not bitter or anything because I've learned from those mistakes). I think that the one thing I'm a little apprehensive about is that he has a major obsession with talking about marijuana. He's a heavy smoker and I've barely started btw.

Anyway, he's also a writer and recently, spur of the moment, he lent me his notebook which had poetry (which was awesome!) and some class journals in it. I didn't intend to read the journals but I read the one on the cover because of its drawings and thought it was really funny because of how sarcastic and off topic it was (topics were assigned). I kept reading and eventually read some entries on daily occurrences. I was mentioned a couple of times with stuff like 'i hope we can hang out and get to know her better'. After that there were also other entries about a girl, Jaime, that he hadn't seen in 6 months. He kept mentioning the both of us a lot more. On things like a topic on trust, he said she was one of two people that are the only ones he trusts. He also wrote that he loves her for how she treated him and how perfect she is but hates her for what's happened in the past 8 months. His last entry about her said that it was the first time he got to see her in 8 months (late January) and that she 'looked nice and was really glad he got to see her'. At the end of the entry he said that even after all this time he'd rather be with me. He also wrote that all of that makes him feel not happy but not sad even though he should be happy.

I don't know what to think or say about it since I feel like I shouldn't have read them in the first place (he did say they were journal entries but didn't say not to read them). Should I ask him about it or just continue like I didn't read it? I don't want to get into a relationship with him if he's in love with someone else. I'd rather he try to get back with her if that's what would make him happy. As a side note, I'm not angry or jealous because we haven't actually been officially dating. It's just a 'this sucks' feeling.

So, any advice?

Liz

Liz418 Reviewed by Liz418 on 02-18-2007. Need guy advice I need some advice about a guy. Kinda long story... Dominic and I have been talking a lot since about late November and he recently told me that he'd like to officially date me. We haven't really had a chance to get to talk one on one for an extended period of time, so I've kind of put it off. My reasoning is that I rushed into a relationship before and it only gave me hell (I'm not bitter or anything because I've learned from those mistakes). I think that the one thing I'm a little Rating: 5

[Samwhore]

when you read someones journal, you read exactly what you were looking for, in this case, you were wondering if he still liked you (im assuming) and thats what you got, I wouldnt tell him but I would say something like "those poems were nice but did you want me to read those journals too?"

hell give you the answer and if he says yes, tell him, if he says no, dont,

and just go on a date with him

[italianrose]

usually when you read someone's journal, it's guarenteed you'll read something you don't like. after all, that's what you're looking for in the first place, even if you don't realize it. guys will like more than one girl at once, just like a girl can like more than one guy at once, but that shouldn't suggest that he likes you less. he did say that after all that he likes to be with you after all that, so what are you worried about?

[d00d989]

IMO (im a guy)-- he very much likes you, but something has just recently happend that made him stop loving the other girl, and hes still sad about it. thats why he didnt feel as happy as he should when he said he'd rather be with u

[Jack the Tripper]

If he said he wants to date you, he undoubtedly meant it. We don't show it as much, but guys often have pretty complex emotions, too. Just because he can't instantly forget about a girl he's dated in the past doesn't mean he's not interested in you.

Date him. If you're afraid of rushing into a relationship, tell him you want to go out with him a few times before making it official. But if you like each other, anything OTHER than going out is counter productive.

[2600HERTZ]

I think his intent was for oyu to read it. Maybe he understood you needed more reassurance. Or maybe he wasn't sure he could tell you any other way.

In either case, I think you shouldn't say a thing, but instead when you go to give him the notebook back just give him a deep intimate kiss.

[mackSwell]

I agree with 2600 - If the guy didn't want you to read the journal entries, he would have removed them before giving you the notebook. I say when returning the notebook, simply thank him for trusting you enough to share it with you.

Know that as you get older, it will be very rare that you have a relationship with someone who doesn't still have some warm feelings for someone from his past. In fact, I'd worry more about someone whose heart is a blank slate regardless of previous relationships.

Clearly this guy is interested in you now. If you like him too, give it a go!