is it just me? mental problems that turn to physical problems with sex

[gabee42ee]

alright ... first id like to say this has happened to me with two guys both who were well endowed, who i had sex with right when i met them, but ended up dating becuase i knew i would like them, but when i had sex with them for the first few times i felt like they sort of convinced me to do it ... which i think is pathetic but anyways ... whenever they would put it in it wouldn't hurt in a way of streching but when it went in really far i felt like it really hurt like a sharp pain everytime that it hit one spot. It's wierd because after i started to like them and wanted badly to have sex with them it didnt hurt. Is it just me that this happens to? is it a medical condition? or is it just my minds way of telling my body that i shouldn't be doing that? id appricate any advice or explanation ... thanks ladies :jointsmile:

gabee42ee Reviewed by gabee42ee on 02-17-2007. is it just me? mental problems that turn to physical problems with sex alright ... first id like to say this has happened to me with two guys both who were well endowed, who i had sex with right when i met them, but ended up dating becuase i knew i would like them, but when i had sex with them for the first few times i felt like they sort of convinced me to do it ... which i think is pathetic but anyways ... whenever they would put it in it wouldn't hurt in a way of streching but when it went in really far i felt like it really hurt like a sharp pain everytime Rating: 5

[birdgirl73]

I have that problem with my husband. When they're well endowed and are going in too deeply, they can bump an ovary or nudge the uterus, which, of course, is connected with lots of nerves there in the lower abdomen. All that anatomy is very close together in there and there are lots of pelvic nerves that support it. The pain'll almost knock you into next week. Seems to happen most often in the missionary position for me.

The solution that works for me is to change positions so I'm better able to control the depth of the thrusts or adjust slightly backwards and away from the thrust as he's moving in. The woman-on-top position helps with this. On-the-side positions help, too. Doggie style works. So do positions where you keep your legs more together than open. That helps keep the deep plunges more shallow. You can also always ask your partner not to thrust so deeply, but when things are hot and they're getting close, I'm convinced that's not always easy for them to consciously control. Good luck!

[gabee42ee]

i knew you would help thanks birdgirl! i just relized that it hurts bc when they convince me to do it they tend to be the ones on top ... but when i want to have sex im always on top coz thats wut i like the most, but i only get on top if im comfortable with the guy. peace

[birdgirl73]

Try and hold out a little longer, OK, Gabee? Or maybe engineer things so you don't get in the situation where you suddenly find yourself being convinced or persuaded to have sex before you're really ready to.

If you're having to be "convinced" and then looking back on the situation afterwards with regret and/or memories of physical pain, that can be a pretty good indication that weren't really quite ready to take that step with them. Let yourself get to know them better and longer and see whether they're really worth bestowing your intimacy upon.

[gabee42ee]

you are so right ... that is something i really need to work on. im so messed up i have a fear about guys not wanting me so i have sex with them, and its only a temporary fix because i then relize they aren't sticking around for me just my vagina

[birdgirl73]

Good luck with that, sweetheart. If you can turn that pattern around and let them get to know your personality and your unique beauty and prove that they're capable of loving you and not just using you, you're going to do good things for your self esteem. You are worth that and you deserve someone who'll treat you well.

[Chronic Chrissy]

I agree with birdgirl. Sug you're never going to find someone to love you if you don't love yourself. You'll only attract those who want something from you because you want something from them. Only you have the power to make yourself feel better. Trust me I know.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

I used to have sex with guys, yanno, just so they'd love me.

I actually did that with -cough-alot-cough of guys, which is one reason I'm so damn experienced (not really a good thing)...basically, i was in the same exact boat as you're in.

I was fucking guys for the wrong reasons and felt guilty the whole time, like in a few days, they might not be around. I'm not gonna lie tho, that's how I got with my boyfriend now and we're actually really happy together and it's not all about sex.

and the pain?

I get it too, Ive noticed if I'm really into it, and wet and everything, it doesn't hurt as much or at all.

Feel better sweets <3

[gabee42ee]

I used to have sex with guys, yanno, just so they'd love me.

I actually did that with -cough-alot-cough of guys, which is one reason I'm so damn experienced (not really a good thing)...basically, i was in the same exact boat as you're in.

I was fucking guys for the wrong reasons and felt guilty the whole time, like in a few days, they might not be around. I'm not gonna lie tho, that's how I got with my boyfriend now and we're actually really happy together and it's not all about sex.

and the pain?

I get it too, Ive noticed if I'm really into it, and wet and everything, it doesn't hurt as much or at all.

Feel better sweets <3

thanks bfa! its always good to know im not the only one.

[vileoxidation]

I have that problem with my husband. When they're well endowed and are going in too deeply, they can bump an ovary or nudge the uterus, which, of course, is connected with lots of nerves there in the lower abdomen. All that anatomy is very close together in there and there are lots of pelvic nerves that support it. The pain'll almost knock you into next week. Seems to happen most often in the missionary position for me.

The solution that works for me is to change positions so I'm better able to control the depth of the thrusts or adjust slightly backwards and away from the thrust as he's moving in. The woman-on-top position helps with this. On-the-side positions help, too. Doggie style works. So do positions where you keep your legs more together than open. That helps keep the deep plunges more shallow. You can also always ask your partner not to thrust so deeply, but when things are hot and they're getting close, I'm convinced that's not always easy for them to consciously control. Good luck!

Okay, this is a kind of similar issue, so I'll ask cause you mentioned it. My boy is well-endowed as well, and while he hurts me sometimes on top, it hurts me more when we do it doggie-style. But the thing is, sometimes it really hurts and sometimes it doesn't at all, and so I am thinking it is probably something getting brusied by one of our...rougher...sessions. But during those "sessions" it doesn't hurt, just after.

Is this just another thing of the same sort, and I need to figure out a better position, or could this possibly be something different?