Girl rules

[stinkyattic]

1. ALWAYS WEAR YOUR DRINKING SHOES at the bar... we all have drinking shoes... am I wrong?

Word. In my case, drinking BOOTS. They are the same ones I ride the Ninja in ... calf-height, sturdy 2" heels, work-boot soles with awesome tread, nice and tight so they support my ankles in case of falling-down-ness. I actually know a girl who blew out a knee wearing fuck-me shoes drinking and had to get ACL surgery. What a dumbass. She bit it stepping over a curb outside the bar, in the winter, wearing like 3" stripper heels.

2. Wear only as much makeup as your friend is wearing... and then add one more thing so you look more put-together than she does.

My friends always wear more makeup than I do... I go out to bars in a baseball cap and eyeliner, period. I FEEL better because they seem sort of like they are trying too hard, if that makes sense? But whatever, I'm not out to pick up dudes, I'm out to chill with my girlies.

3. Don't speak to men with bad breath.

Ewww and an addition to that rule, wrinkle up your nose and make faces at guys with bad breath. Dude, that is ass-nasty. If a guy can't keep his teeth clean, imagine what the grundle smells like. Gawd.

4. Offer women with bad breath a piece of peppermint gum.

Unless they are talking to bad breath dude over there. In which case, avoid the area, as it is probably unsanitary to breathe the air.