So based on what you have said there I am guessing you mean that those who have had the surgery only bought another couple of years and did not win the brass ring of "living the long run." Will this surgery give you the possibility of accomplishing this by itself or is it a procedure borne of complications that now need to be corrected? And how much of a betting man are you?

In regards to children---I will add one thing here that may or may not be interesting to you. I am an adopted child.....I couldn't tell you if I was born from AI, the virgin mother or whatever and it doesn't bother me really (of course I wonder but...) What does stick out in my mind is the parents who were there for me day after day as I was growing up; as is the family who loves you now and wants you around for a long time.

What I am seeing from your writing is that children etc is your ray of hope here. If you were to go the surgery route, and were able to have kids (lots of maybes in there) that type of future could go a long way against the day to day blackness.

To me the question comes back to this: How much of a betting man are you?

One last thing: yeah it's neat-o to be strong etc but your problems are there whether you are strong or weak. And sometimes, letting yourself be weak for awhile and using the support from others can help you be strong at times when you really need it.