Thank you for the love nikweiser.

It's a dilemma no one would want to face or think about because it's so detrimental to imagine. I'm just the unlucky one that does. I already been through hell, and done everything to overcome it. I worked myself back into shape, I'm almost back into the shape I was before I got cancer.. I just don't want to go through it again, and lose more than I have to gain. I can't live a sedentary lifestyle again. I simply can't. I want in the future to father a child normally, and not through artifical imsemination. Who the hell would want to cum backwards into your bladder, jesus. I'll be a freak of nature, and no woman with the right mind would ever want to settle down with me. I really suck at life

That's why just living 3-5 years as normal as I can be sounds great to me, even tho opting out of surgery is writing my death sentence.

Sorry for being such a downer, but I had to rant and be a little emo.