but it is all an illusion to entice people to cling to empty things. i loved my best friend like a brother until i cought him fucking my ex girl while i was still in icu recovering from a severe coma, i suffered a heart attack that paralized my hands i had previosly been a very accomplished classical pianist .... i cannot ever play againnot any more, not ever again as my doctors said my recovery was bleek, i can never play again and music was my whole life, i grew up around elite musicians, i was gonna start a band too and it would have been sweetj was gonna name it ' pride before apology' the only thing i have left is my beloved cult