tryna I would suggest that you try to forgive your uncle and cousin and fiance. I know it's easy to just say that to you from my keyboard, having never experienced a real tragedy in my life (although I'm only 16 and I assume that I have alot of living to do, even though i could stop breathing tomorrow). It's like you said though, by the time you want to get close to someone it might be too late. As far as the murder of you family, I don't see why, as an outsider looking in you have a reasonable reason to feel guilty, it wasn't your fault even though you might think it was. I hope everything works out and over time you'll be able to get over it.

that's all for tonight, see ya guys later.