Quote Originally Posted by Nation_1ne
Thanks for the input, much appreciated. I think you could be right about the "attentively" thing.

I'm glad the story is "nice", I just hope you're being honest lol.

Anymore advice would be greatly appreciated.
Well I didn't really want to try and give a lot of input as writing is not really my expertise (sp?). The input I did give you though was just the thing that I noticed. I'd rather leave it for people who could give you much better input, like JaggedEdge.

And as for the "nice" part. Well I gave you the input, but forgot to tell you I liked the story. I had to leave so I decided to edit real quick and throw it in.

But yeah, I really liked it as it was short but sweet. I like how it ends, most things I end up reading don't have such an ending like that where a character says something that shows how much their relationship means to them. It's kind of like your ending sparks a feeling that we, as real people might rarely experience in real life. I don't know if that makes sense, but it seems like the best way to say it.

Anyways, keep writing. And I'd be happy to read more.