Quote Originally Posted by AR15
Umm, I don't know but I think in the second sentence, "attentively" might not be the word to use. I usually associate that with listening and not speaking. Maybe "passionately"? I don't know, it's your writing not mine so it's your choice. Good luck.

Oh and nice story btw.
Thanks for the input, much appreciated. I think you could be right about the "attentively" thing.

I'm glad the story is "nice", I just hope you're being honest lol.

Anymore advice would be greatly appreciated.