Quote Originally Posted by maryjanemama
Cheeched, like Ammie said, been there done that...in fact I was 17 at the time, too. Is he older than you? It sounds like he's using his postion in your life to control you...that is not love, that is ownership. You have to get him out of your life. End of story. You think you love him, but you know what, you've made him the center of your life and now you feel like you don't know what you'd do without him. Guess what? You can do plenty without him, you had a life before you met him and you will again afterwards.

I know how it feels to be really scared of someone. You think that staying is just easier because it keeps the peace for a while and you're out of danger. But you're not, the longer you stay, the worse it will get. Trust me on this. It sounds like he is trying to keep you from your friends, next it will be your family. This is the beginning of him trying to isolate you. Next will come the hitting, I promise you, he will hit you next. It may start with pushing or shoving or grabbing your arm...but soon it will lead to bruising, mark my words.

I would say definitely DO NOT tell him anything. Don't tell him about counseling, or that you're thinking of leaving him. You do not want to provoke him. When you've gotten some help, tell your friends and family that you are going to break up with him and do it. Do not do it by yourself. I know this sounds like a shitty way to break up with someone but I had to break up with my crazy ex over the phone! While he was away at boot camp. That way I knew he couldn't come and get me or whatever, cuz he would have if he was in town. Cheech, if I didn't break up with him when I did I garuantee I would be dead by now.

This post will turn into a novel if I tell you more but trust me, things will get worse if you stay. Don't listen to his bullshit, "I love yous." either, cuz that is all crappola. If he yells at you or hits you and then turns around and buys you a gift, don't accept it. Make a plan to get him out of your life and follow through with it. Make it a clean and simple break and do not see after it's over. Once it's over, keep it that way. Do not meet him "just to talk" or any of that. He will do everything he can to weasel his way back into your life. Be strong and don't let him near you.

I wrote a poem about how I felt when I was with him...but I don't remember which one it is. Lulu knows what it is, if she sees this, maybe she can put the link in here so you can read it and know that I understand exactly how you feel right now.

Keep in touch and I'll help you out however I can: [email protected]..


god we must have had the same guy!!!