"my mom had this innate ability, whatever town my mom moved to, the second she walked in town she would attract the alpha male LOSER of that town... this guy was not a good guy, he was half oj simpson and half oj simpson..."

ROFL!!!! that's my fucking mom!!!! she always attracts the lowest sleeziest dirt bag mother fuckers that end up screwing her so hard you'd think she'd walk bow legged for a year...