lol...weed up your ass...you gotta be an idiot to think that...

anyways i would just make a apple pipe, if you make it right it can be good.
and apple are good.
theres all kidns of ways to make bowls outta of. Stoners are very creative.
BUt for you, i would just add that papers/blunts are best for you. its easy to hide.
You can ask friend stoners to buy a bowl off them.
Peace man.