I think he was just referring to the tone of your guys-should-never-hit-a-woman message as perhaps an arbitrary gender-based rule in protection of women just like, say, his example of "guys should never touch a woman's feet" or this one of "a woman should never mess up a guy's hair." That sorta thing, Slip. He didn't have a problem with what you said.

I wish situations like that never happened. That big guy should never have punched her, but she at the same time shouldn't have egged him on like that, especially knowing the potential risk. My guess is that's not the first time that's occurred between those two. I hate physical violence that goes either way like that. Guess I've volunteered too long in a women's shelter/crisis center. It's a two-way street. Both genders can be abusive, but at the same time, both genders can also be the provocateurs, and all domestic partners with even half a brain know how not to push those buttons (and sometimes still choose to do that anyway). That's part of the dysfunctional dance that goes on when the anger starts spinning out of control like that.

For me, I know if it ever got physical between my husband and me, I'd be the bad loser. He outweighs me by 130 pounds and is half a foot taller. We've had our hottest differences worked out for a long time now, but when things do get to the point where we're about to say something we'll regret later, we just agree to go to neutral corners and talk about it later when we're cooler. We both let off a lot of stress and steam through exercise anyway, which helps us tend to be more chill with each other in the first place.