and here we go.... (more brother issues)

[higher4hockey]

so he's not joining the military then slip ?

[slipknotpsycho]

it's not off the plate yet... he said he was going to try and get a job first, then if he couldn't find work he'd join... so if he gets there and still can't find work, i guess he will be joining....

oh another reason this worries me, is he's 17, we have absolutely no family in TN or near it, the closest is probably north carolina, and he doesn't even know them... all the family he knows, lives here, so it's not like he could turn to someone if he gets in trouble out there or something, once he gets there he's on his own....

[Nation_1ne]

nation, if you had next to no one except your brother, i'm sure you'd be singing a diffrent tune... i have my own family, he was pretty much the only thing tieing me into a family (other then my wife and kid).... i don't know if you can understand that, but with him leaving, it's like i'm alone in the world (nearly)...

When I was 6 me and my mum lived quite a way away from my family, she had a boyfriend who beat her every night, and pissed on my bed (whilst I was in it) several times. Not to mention how much verbal abuse she received from him, with me in the room. I had one friend who lived next door, and my mum, that was it. Nuff' said really I think.

[Nochowderforyou]

An older guy told me, when I was about 16, that you are lucky if you have one real friend in your entire life. He was right.

That's true.

Be glad you have a wife and kids. I hope to have that someday and at least give my parents a grandchild before they go.

I can understand losing your folks though. That's harsh, really harsh.

If it makes you feel any better, by the time I'm old and die, I won't have many people at my funeral either, because by that time, my folks will be gone, and when that happens, my brother will no longer talk to me. The only reason we see each other is because of my parents, but he hates my guts for the lifestyle I choose to live. I don't hate it him at all, and that's why religion gets to me so much.

Anyways, I hope things get better for you. May I suggest you go see a councillor (sp?) for this? You don't have to start taking medicine, but just go see someone to talk to about this and get things off your chest. I did it for the longest time and my guy listened to every frustration I had on my mind. It really helps too.

I know you have a wife and such, but sometimes, talking with someone trustworthy outside of the family circle is healthy.

Good luck.

[slipknotpsycho]

don't have the money for it... besides, i've been in counseling my whole life, it's not going to help (it does help alot of people, but talking doesn't really help me.... poetry and music helps me, poetry helps me more (writing it) but i'm hung over from nyquil and what not so i can't exactly write, right now)

[Nation_1ne]

don't have the money for it... besides, i've been in counseling my whole life, it's not going to help (it does help alot of people, but talking doesn't really help me.... poetry and music helps me, poetry helps me more (writing it) but i'm hung over from nyquil and what not so i can't exactly write, right now)

Then why don't you play some soothing music? That may help your nerves a bit.

[Nochowderforyou]

Oh yeah, you're in the States. I always forget they like to screw their own people over who are in need.

I'm just used to here because mental health services are free. It should be the same everywhere else.

If you're into music go play something relaxing. I play Pink Floyd and Zeppelin sometimes and I just lose myself. When I play for an hour, it feels like 5 minutes. It's like sleeping in a way, I feel no pain or anything.

[Breukelen advocaat]

Often, the mind improves with hobbies and/or new interests. Dwelling on a problem is not the way to conquer it - sometimes you just have to forget about it. Taking up music, or writing (such as your poetry), painting, etc., is the best therapy - and you never know how good you can be.

You have to question everything about yourself to find answers. The first thing to do is dispute your feelings. They are often brought about by words right in your own head, and if you can change that you'll find relief. Finding rational arguments to counter the irrational thoughts takes practice, but works.

For many people, as soon as one problem goes away, they find another one to take it's place. This is another common thing. Recognition of this pattern is half the battle, and then you can start doing things to stop it from getting worse, and eventually eliminate it.

[slipknotpsycho]

well, soothing music isn't exactly how i deal with the problems.. if i'm sad, i listen to sad songs, if i'm pissed, i listen to angry songs... helps get the emotion out.. and i am listening to music..

i tried to write... but it's not working... for reasons stated above...

[Dave Byrd]

Birdie's yelling over my shoulder, "Time for them to move to the Dallas area so I can make the adoption official!"