I am constantly at battle between religion and atheism within myself. I have gotten the idea of hell slammed down my throat so many times that i actually have fear of it. I got really stoned the other day, considering weed effects me like salvia effects others, i actually thought i had died and went to hell. It brought this whole religious thing back in question to me.

On the other hand, i cant NOT bow down to a god that is so completely discriminating. I often ask myself what i would do at the foot of god, to bow down? or burn in hell?

All logic tells me is there is nothing after death.

One more thing that really bothers me about Christianity is no one actually lives by the book. NO ONE. If they did we would still be stoning gay people, and women would forever be locked in the kitchen.

It is such a touchy subject that frightens me about the future of America, what ever happened to separation of church and state? It never existed. Surely the end will come in religious wartime.

Life is all about personal growth to me anyways.