Anyone else?

[Its a Plant]

Oh yeah, I'm not normal.

Haha I'm sure it's borderline creepy for some, but mehh, they can sit on it.

virgos aren't your average folk.

Bottom line: virgos RULE - -

[stinkyattic]

tallulah......if you were going to break up with him and he put a ring on your finger.......why did that stop you??

My thoughts exactly.

Then I read TG's response.

Tallulah, you get enough bad nights, it's a crap relationship. Trust your gut on that one. I always think of a diamond as sort of a bribe anyway! And Her Dankness don't take no bribes.

BTW my 29th birthday was on Monday and I am really starting to feel my age... and I found out about the engagement ring while I was out celebrating my birthday last night... what a fucking buzzkill.

[higher4hockey]

talullah.......is alcohol getting blamed for something in this conversation, or is alcohol the cause of something.??


im confused.

[Skink]

I fear I don't want to end up like my mother whom has never been married.

That is something not to fear!!! you are your own individual...

[stinkyattic]

He is a great guy who loves me a lot, but...theres a lot to it. Hes had a lot of past problems in his life that I think have made him turn to alcohol because he doesn't know or want to express things. )

This is exactly the case with both my ex and his brother. When a man can't stand up and take control of his life and stop using past problems as an excuse for present behaviour, he is still not a man, he's a child. I believe my ex may have been sexually abused at some point. He refused to get counseling either for his depression, his drinking, or his shall we say sexual dysfunction. Until he has dealt with that stuff, he is NOT ready for a relationship PERIOD. If your man is still really hurting over something in HIS past, he needs to get counseling or you, the girlfriend, get to be, guess what, his shrink.

Thats the thing, I would drink even if he weren't around..which makes me realize I can't just blame HIM for the problem...because I drink too. I was raised by alcoholics, just as he was....)

Well in that case you're supporting each others' drinking... if it's a problem in the relationship, you BOTH need to quit together. If you feel HE has a bad problem, and you aren't willing to quit and work with him to get the problem sorted out, you need to break up. Because it simply does not work for one partner to try and quit while watching the other still drink. TRUST ME I have been through this with 2 different men who BOTH had bad drinking problems and BOTH blamed them on their admittedly shitty childhoods... but once you're in your 20s, you're on your own and any choices you make are YOUR choices.
And for yourself, I don't mean to sound preachy, but you don't want to get into the habit of dating guys who are emotionally damaged/needy in some way because of course you will end up trying to ohelp/fix/change them and it's something that has to come from within; a girlfriend isn't a mother. This was something I noticed in both of the previous 2-year relationships I've been through- the guys really started to treat me like I was their mom as soon as that initial romantic period was over.
Oklay long assed post better stick it up

[TallulahGreen]

This is exactly the case with both my ex and his brother. When a man can't stand up and take control of his life and stop using past problems as an excuse for present behaviour, he is still not a man, he's a child. I believe my ex may have been sexually abused at some point. He refused to get counseling either for his depression, his drinking, or his shall we say sexual dysfunction. Until he has dealt with that stuff, he is NOT ready for a relationship PERIOD. If your man is still really hurting over something in HIS past, he needs to get counseling or you, the girlfriend, get to be, guess what, his shrink.

Well in that case you're supporting each others' drinking... if it's a problem in the relationship, you BOTH need to quit together. If you feel HE has a bad problem, and you aren't willing to quit and work with him to get the problem sorted out, you need to break up. Because it simply does not work for one partner to try and quit while watching the other still drink. TRUST ME I have been through this with 2 different men who BOTH had bad drinking problems and BOTH blamed them on their admittedly shitty childhoods... but once you're in your 20s, you're on your own and any choices you make are YOUR choices.
And for yourself, I don't mean to sound preachy, but you don't want to get into the habit of dating guys who are emotionally damaged/needy in some way because of course you will end up trying to ohelp/fix/change them and it's something that has to come from within; a girlfriend isn't a mother. This was something I noticed in both of the previous 2-year relationships I've been through- the guys really started to treat me like I was their mom as soon as that initial romantic period was over.
Oklay long assed post better stick it up

You are right, and I have already been on a path of dating emotionally needy guys.

I have always had a problem of loving myself, and in recent times....I have started to like myself more and feel stronger about who I am and such....and I don't really know if my boyfriend helps or makes that worse....

...I am in a huge state of confusion about my life at this point, and even more so about my relationship in my life with him..I am currently in the process of finding out what is right for me and what I need to do.

I have never really done that for myself before, nor have I been able to. I am always trying to think about whats better for others...and I never even know whats right for me. It is something I am battling in many aspects of my life right now that is really starting to take a toll on me. I am turning into a wreck! But at the same time figuring out oh so much...:S5:

[TallulahGreen]

That is something not to fear!!! you are your own individual...

True...maybe it's that whole self fulfilling prophecy thing.

Thus far I have completly followed my moms footsteps...it's scary.


Maybe I can blame it on the fact that I never had a dad in my life....and every other male figure in my life really screwed me over....

[TallulahGreen]

talullah.......is alcohol getting blamed for something in this conversation, or is alcohol the cause of something.??


im confused.

alcohol is always the cause of something.

[misspotn]

I sure have felt like that lately...

[Skink]

True...maybe it's that whole self fulfilling prophecy thing.

Thus far I have completly followed my moms footsteps...it's scary.


Maybe I can blame it on the fact that I never had a dad in my life....and every other male figure in my life really screwed me over....

I will be your Dad in proxy... Now put down the whine and find a man that will worship you!!!