Quote Originally Posted by Cleveland
I'm auditioning for a movie tomorrow and I have to read a monologue from the flick "Search and Destroy." I play a big-time coke dealer. Check out the monologue, it's gonna be fun.

"New York, New York, New York! Last night? The best, the best. Absofuckingwhatley the best. last night. Okay. We get there. This is at Shea. We get there. In the limo. I got, I'm with, the, Carol, she does the, the, fuck, you know, that ad, the fitness, amazing bod, amazing bod, fucking amazing bod, and I have, for this occasion, I put aside my very best, lovely lovely product, for Carol, who, no, I care about very deeply. So, okay, get to Shea, it's fucking bat night, everybody with the bats, fifty thousand bat-weilding sociopaths, security is very tight. I have a private booth. In the circle. This is through GE, my little addictive exec at GE. So we entree, me and Carol. And my client, I see, has fucked me over, cause there's already someone there, you know who, that talk show, he's always got like three drag queens and a satanist......"

It goes on for a while and it gets really friggin funny. too much to type, and I'm sure it's too much to read anyway. I'm just blazing and practicing my lines, this is gonna be fun.
Sorry, I got bored, so I'm finishing the monologue:

"And he's there with a girl can't be more than fourteen. 'Oops.' This fucking guy, my daughter watches that show. And between us, heavy substance abuser. I ask him to leave. I mean I come to watch a ball game with my good friend Carol and I'm forced to encounter skeevy baby-fucking cokehead? One thing leads to another, politeness out the window, he comes at me Mets ashtray in his hand. What do I do. I have a bat, I take this bat, I auaint this individual in the head with this bat. 'Ba-doing.' Right, badoing? He doesn't go down. Stands there, walks out the door, comes back two security guards. 'Is there a problem here, boys?' 'Well sir, this man, bicka bicka, bicka,' 'Yes, I completely understand and here's something for your troubles.' How much, Kim? How much did I give these good men to resolve out altercation? I gave them one thousand dollars in US currency. And they were very grateful. Mr. Microphone sits down, doesn't speak, doesn't move the rest of the night. Moody fuckin person. Mets take it, great ball, home with Carol where we romp in the flower of our youth. I win. I dominate. I get all the marbles. And that is why I love New York."

what do you guys think?