Yea thats kinda what I'm trying to learn, I just need to concentrate on her and don't worry about myself or me showing her I'm going to cum, I have always felt if they don't see you orgasm then its a let down for them, kinda like why are you not orgasming and that in turn has led to to much pressure on myself even beofe sex started. I can give some hella oral thats not a issue. Scareing the shit out of her before she lets me is. I've tried to let girls just make the first move but thats very rare they do, but I give them what they want if they do. I'm talking in general terms about past experiences now. A lot have liked me but got turned off if I make the move(I assumed Im making it to soon or just not smooth about it) and turned off If I let them - they get to nervous and never do. It seems like were never on the same page either Im chasing them and they like the attention but then turn me down for some reason I don't understand, then I get like fuck it Im not interested in them and that somehow turns them on and they make it clear that they want me but for me I've turned a corner and am truly no longer interested, and the times I did give it a second try its like they turn again and were back to not leting me do anything, How majorly F'd up is that. A big part is just me Im sure I have a lot of shame based issues around sex although I'm horny alot I think that it come through some how and puzzels the girls I've liked. Not geting laid till I was 27 is just a glaring sign I got issues I guess and even then I did it just to fucking know I had(my first time damn sure wasn't with someone special that for sure). I have never had the deep fun type of sex in my head its always been a tad forced sadly. But thats what Im trying to learn to just relax and find someone that I trust and relax with and not feel like Im spread thin or over extended myself emotionaly.