If you are having these feelings is there another underlying problem that may be causing all of this? divorce,extra stress, health, etc. I am the same way but I suffer from PTSD and severe anger with homicidal tendencies. I ended up being prescribed Zoloft, but me and that shit didnt get along. Maybe you need to see someone professionally, I am no expert but it almost sounds like bi-polar disorder. Again maybe you need pro help..look at it this way at least you are smart enough to recognize that there is a problem.