ok now that i'm reading back, i guess i got a bit touchy and harsh with

"look if you support this idea, get the fuck out now, cuz i'm not listening to you, and even worse.. am begining to hate you... i don't give a fuck what you got to say unless you're giving me ideas..."

but i don't want to lose another brother, and i sure as hell can't/won't be able to just deal with it... he's my younger brother ffs.. i'm supposed to protect him, even from things he thinks are right...

things would be diffrent if he wanted to go because he believed in it, i wouldn't like it, and it would greatly upset me at the thought that i could lose him, but he's not going becasue he believes in it, he's signing up becasue the recruiters are putting dollar signs in his eyes, and he's going to get away from my mother.... and those facts alone are what makes it such a bad idea that i need to get sense through him....

i want to bring him here, but you know, i'm just not so sure it's going to work... we already have severe money issues... a lack of space, ect.. so i don't know what i'm going to do anymore...

becasue of my brothers funeral (this will give you an idea of just how traumatic this was on me) i will never go to another one, for any reason. i just couldn't take going through everything i went through with my other brother, all over agian..

i just don't know what to do, i feel so lost and helpless....

(bong hits, if you got banned cuz of me, i'm sorry, i wouldn't have even asked for the mods to ban you, but banning is their job and i have no control over it....)

just... what do you do when someone you care for a great deal, is making a wrong decision...