The personal tulips are suffering. We'll call it an accident, because it was. We were doing doggy, and I was diddling my clit, and I scratched him when he dove in for the kill. It was shocking. I missed my mark, and so did he. Oh, the huge manatee. So, I've been without direct contact for 3 days, and he keeps trying to convince me that he's had a miraculous healing. Lemme tell ya, Jesus of Nazareth couldn't heal the gouge I put in Papi's pecker.

As long as I can see scabs, he's going to have to keep hitting the Neosporin, and I'll keep humping the washer when it's on spincycle.