Im with Junkdogg, but ONLY swallow condoms under the condition that you're totally fucked up or completely retarded. Also, alot of times they dont like you transporting food, so I don't recommend the apple thing. "Sorry, can't take this random apple that is in your bag among underwear and toothbrushes... hey wait this apple is cored. And filled with leaves... Odd" Oh, and the shampoo and the coffee mehtods are both insanely popular, which means they're commonly looked out for and generally not near as hard to spot as shoving it up your ass. ((Unless you're really friendly with the drug dogs/police officers)) I gotta say, kiester-shoving is probably your safest option, and as junkdogg said, use a condom and not a balloon. You'll probably want to get a pre-lubed one as well.. for ease of use. One further option that is probably SLIGHTLY more comfortable then having a condom up your ass is duct taping that condom to the underside of your balls. -shrugs- Or, if you're a class-a daredevil, just get a box of cigs, cut about 1/4 in. off each one and tuck your baggy in the very bottom of the carton. I get into concerts with pre-rolled joints that way all the time. If you toss it in the thing with your keyes and stuff then walk through the metal detector and dont beep, you should be fine. And no they can't see plastic via x-ray.