My tourettes goes almost completely away when I smoke just once a day (at night usually). I have been clean for 3 days and its starting to come back hard :/

I'm stuck between a rock where I can have no tourettes by taking personality altering medication and make my parents happy, or I can have no tourettes and smoke at night when they are asleep but deal with the fact that they absolutely would kill me if they found out I'm smoking again.

I could just go around with twitches and tics and have everyone think I am crazy again