I was told recently by an English teacher that I should become and english major and become a writer. I told her the only thing stopping me is the fact that I would have to study Shakespeare. She said "oh no you would love it, you could take a single sentence of his and marvel at its meaning for ages" and I was like "I have been told that before, and as much as I like a little confusion and mystery, I like a little clarity just as much."

What I am trying to say is... I don;t like Shakespeare.