It doesn't make any difference what you believe. You'll find out soon enough when you're dead and buried, one way or another. I have no idea how old you are, but those are the type of limp philosophical views that are generally held by young and very unenlightened people. Somewhere in the course of your journey you will call on some "higher power" to save your sorry ass. That day obviously hasn't come yet. But it will, if you live long enough.