My epiphany (warning: contains the secret to true happiness)

[Oneironaut]

Well, I finally figured out the secret to true happiness. It's actually simpler than I expected it to be.

It turns out the Buddha was right. Much of suffering comes from the presence of unfulfilled desires. When we want something and we don't have it or can't get it, we become unhappy. Often our expectations of what kind of pleasure we should be getting are too high, and when we experience something pleasurable but not quite as pleasurable as we expected, we find ourselves disappointed.

The first step to achieving happiness, therefore, is the minimization (or ideally elimination) of your expectations of pleasure. Do not act as if the world owes you happiness, and you can truly and fully appreciate every little pleasurable thing in life. Once you have gotten rid of your expectations of pleasure, you can stop taking things for granted, and that is where happiness comes from. You already have the things that will make you happy, but chances are you take a good deal of them for granted. Don't ever take anything for granted.

Don't take food for granted. Think of the hungry.
Don't take those who care about you for granted. Think of the lonely.
Don't take warmth for granted. Think of those who are cold.
Don't take your eyesight for granted. Think of the blind.
Don't take weed for granted. Think of those who will die without having tried it.
Don't take the fact that you live in a First World industrialized nation for granted. Think of the slums of impoverished countries.
Don't even take suffering and pain for granted, since it is only because you suffer sometimes that you know what pleasure means.

Live your life, here and now, and don't expect happiness. Just let it come to you in all its myriad of forms, and teach yourself not to take it for granted. Our standards and expectations have gotten too high in this society, and because of that we often find ourselves underimpressed with our blessings. This leads people to the erroneous conclusion that gluttony will make them happier than moderation, and that striving for the most and the best is the only thing that can ever satisfy them. Do not fall into this trap, and you can be happy.

If anybody's interested, here are two amazing speeches about the pursuit of happiness:
http://www.ted.com/tedtalks/tedtalks...?key=d_gilbert
http://www.ted.com/tedtalks/tedtalks...key=b_schwartz

Oneironaut Reviewed by Oneironaut on 01-19-2007. My epiphany (warning: contains the secret to true happiness) Well, I finally figured out the secret to true happiness. It's actually simpler than I expected it to be. It turns out the Buddha was right. Much of suffering comes from the presence of unfulfilled desires. When we want something and we don't have it or can't get it, we become unhappy. Often our expectations of what kind of pleasure we should be getting are too high, and when we experience something pleasurable but not quite as pleasurable as we expected, we find ourselves disappointed. Rating: 5

[friendowl]

you need to read "within a miraculous realm"

you are headed in the right direction

the dalai llama or however you spell that
wrote a book "the art of happiness"

pretty good

[HiProGlow]

Buddha summed it up perfectly when he told the world that pleasure and pain are what keep us bound to the wheel of illusion. Don't be exhilarated by pleasure and don't give creedence to pain or else you go round and round. Take things for what they are, at face value and move on! Peace.

[benagain]

The first step to achieving happiness, therefore, is the minimization (or ideally elimination) of your expectations of pleasure

LMAO

=When you're on a date, except to go home tang-less.

But yea, I feel the exact same way. No matter how bad I think my day may be going, someone's allways having a shittier one.

[Inferius]

I don't need to think about others having it worse off than me to feel good about what I do have.

Rather, learn to appreciate what you have and be optimistic, without needing the comparison.

Have something to do.
Have someone to love.
Have something to look forward to.

Those three have kept and will always keep me happy.

[Oneironaut]

LMAO

=When you're on a date, except to go home tang-less.

Don't even expect that. Just don't expect anything. When the tang comes to you, it will be that much sweeter.

This is actually the problem that helped me to reach my epiphany. I have this new friend, and she's totally hot, and I totally want to bang her, but I got lost in my sexual desire and forgot how lucky I am to just have her as a friend. Just because sex would be super-awesome doesn't mean friendship isn't awesome too, or that I should feel unsatisfied just being friends with her. If sex ever happens between us, great. If it doesn't, great, I still have a wonderful new friend. Because I don't expect anything out of her, I can really cherish the friendship in a way I could not if I was constantly disappointed that I'm not fucking her.

[Nochowderforyou]

I see, when you have something, think of that something where someone else will never have it, or experience it. Buddah seems like a cool cat to me. :thumbsup:

Makes sense though. Something to keep in mind. Nice post.

[VaporDaddy]

awesome Oneironaut!
Check out "The power of now" by Eckhart Tolle

[NextLineIsMine]

usually when I see a "I had an Epiphany Thread" I expect some non sensical rant where a 14 year old kid is telling me he has discovered he is the alpha and omega and that none of us can understand till we come to his level.

This was a clear and concise message that just made me feel much more appreciative of my day. Super-props

[benagain]

Don't even expect that. Just don't expect anything. When the tang comes to you, it will be that much sweeter.

This is actually the problem that helped me to reach my epiphany. I have this new friend, and she's totally hot, and I totally want to bang her, but I got lost in my sexual desire and forgot how lucky I am to just have her as a friend. Just because sex would be super-awesome doesn't mean friendship isn't awesome too, or that I should feel unsatisfied just being friends with her. If sex ever happens between us, great. If it doesn't, great, I still have a wonderful new friend. Because I don't expect anything out of her, I can really cherish the friendship in a way I could not if I was constantly disappointed that I'm not fucking her.

ouch. That's a tight spot to be in. Sometimes a hookup attempt works with friends. Sometimes it's a dissaster. Sounds like you've got the right attitude though. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be :jointsmile: