"good morning ms. reb, we're going door to door in your neighborhood this morning to let everyone here know about the lord's plan for you and all of his children. have you heard the word of the lord?"


"what?! you don't have a personal relationship with jesus? well, i'm here to tell you that jesus loves you and that our lord and saviour, who died on the cross for your sins, awaits your return to his loving embrace. his is a pure and...."


"what!? no! jesus is not some greasy perv just trying to get in your pants! please, put down that bat. HELP! HHHEEELLLPPP...."




....as sirens rise in the distance and blood seeps into the dust we say farewell to another blessed soul, who's missionary zeal has led him to an untimely end.

this must mean there is a god