Quote Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho
i don't want this to sound emo, but i'm a failure at life, i can list all the reasons why, but i'd rather not ya'know? just take my word for it... the only good things i've done in my life is love my child and want to be there for him, and marry my wife... everything else i've fucked up my life one time after another after another.. i mean serious fuck ups, not 'i got caught with weed in school'....
yea... basicaly thats what im feeling is im a fuck up in life... and that im disapointing everyone around me... i mean i live in a very small town... (its a logging town... and theres only one lumber mill... so it is fucking small...) but anyways, i missed all last week of school due to my fucked up sleeping patterens stay up for a few days, fall asleep for 24 hours... be up for a few more days, crash out for another 24 hours... well... i preaty much slept for the whole week...
the other day-

the girl in the main office when i walked in their said "william i was so glad when i saw you come back to this school, and to see you hanging out with all of those kids youve known all of your life... and you were doing so good... and when you first started going to school up here, you were at school everyday even befor i was here, but these past couple of weeks youve really missed quite a few days"

and then i went to my shop class, and the shop teacher(one of the best teachers in our school... of course, hes tought me more about math then my fucking math teachers) said, william, when i heard you were coming back to town, i told galbrith that i wanted you in as many classes as you could be put in, and i was so happy when i saw you at school everyday, and standing out side my class waiting for class to start, and just ready to work, and always got right on what was needed to be done, but lately, you havent been to my class in a few days, and you havent been doing 100% on your prodjects..."

and then i went to my math class, and he handed us a test, and i just sat there for about 15 to 20 minutes, and after that, i just started looking around the room, and he looks at me and i look at him(its weird, i can tell when people are looking at me) and he just says confused.... so i crumpled my test up tossed it in the trash... and sat down and started drawing, everyone else finished the test and he started explaing the next lesson, so i stop drawing, and after a few minutes i just got totaly lost, and picked my stuff up and said im going... talk to you later, hes just says"start reading over the book, you might have a chance to catch up befor we get to far ahead see ya latter" so i left feeling realy down, so i went smoked a ciggeret, injoyed a nice dip of chew... and finaly the next bell rang, so i went and got my shit for english...

in english class... i went and sat down in my desk... and i sit there for like 5 minutes after she dose attendence, and after that 5 minutes shes like ohh hi william, do you have an admit slip, then you need to go get one... so i went and got it and then got back to class, i sat down and looked at my desk and there was a paper there, and when i got back, she stood up and started explaing the lesson to the class... i was able to pay attention for a few minutes... but then she said something that i didnt under stand, and she told me to hold on when i went to ask her... about it... and she told me to hold on, she finaly ended the lesson, and asked me what i was going to ask her, and i said never mind, and threw my paper in the trash, and took my drawing back out, and countiued to work on it... then class finaly got out, i went and got some water, and walked towards my house for lunch and a ciggeret... i asked my mom for some monney to run to the store for food, and she told me she was broke...so i went to my room to find my stale chips, and started eating them...

and then it came to my mind all of the shit the teachers had all said to me this morning, and i was like great... another year that ive fucked up. and more people ive let down... and i just desided to sit down eat my chips and draw some more

yea... i guess a few people that will call me a emo or what ever... and a few people will say that im just looking for sympathy... but im not emo... and im not looking for sympathy... i guess i just want some one to tell... and i dont really trust most of my friends that good to tell them about my day... and that the boards are better the keeping it in...
partyguy420 Reviewed by partyguy420 on . for anyone following my threads tonight i'm in a really unstable mood right now, i don't wanna go off on any of you, so i'm done for the night, i'm gonna go for the night, so you can stop checking my posts (or any post that you're expecting an answer from me for) just dont' want anyone to think i went and od'd or soemthing..... Rating: 5