You have a lucky kid, Junkyard. I don't doubt that he'll respect you more in the long run for being open with him about subjects like this.

I had some guidance from an older cousin of mine about weed and other drugs when I was about your son's age (maybe a little older), and I have to say if I hadn't had any sort of guidance outside of D.A.R.E. (ha ha), I quite possibly would have gone on to do harder drugs than weed, just out of the same curiosity that got me to try marijuana (IMO, the frame of mind comes before the drug, and the gateway theory is a crock). Thanks to having a dependable mentor and places like Erowid, I've been able to educate myself and make responsible decisions about what I put into my body.

I totally agree with you that parents should be honest with their kids, and not brush them off or lie to them to keep them from trying pot, or anything for that matter. Even if you lie to your child with 100% good intentions, when they find out (and chances are they will) they'll probably lose a considerable amount of respect for you, and possibly do worse things just to spite you, or to find out by experimentation whether they've been lied to about other things.

Even if the truth is fucked up, honesty is the best policy. Because a fucked-up truth, when concealed, is an even MORE fucked up lie.

Like if your kid is adopted. I think it'd be better to tell them early on, as screwed up as it might be for a kid to deal with, than stow it as some ugly secret to be possibly revealed later on in adolesence (just when a kid really needs more identity issues to deal with).

Candor > Deceit, by far. When it comes to everyone, really, but ESPECIALLY when it comes to kids.