near death

[BlueCat]

Evidently you and your bros judgement is pretty damn violent... You just posted to a public forum that at 25 and 26 years of age you and your brother pound each other brains out. Don't play the victim here own up to your behavior.

[Polymirize]

Hmm, you know what? I think this is hell. If Satan had choice in the matter I`m sure he would send me back. Cause I would much rather burn for eternity than be back here. When I was there I felt myself burn. Maybe I didn`t smell my flesh or hear it burn but I sure felt it. As for that barrier, it was instictive. But I felt my mind expand around myself. And that laughing, it also felt real. That reality of the situation is my subconscious wants to believe it`s real because I experienced those feelings. Although, I am inclined to believe the oxygen deprivation because I refuse to believe I revived myself without the help of cpr or any kind of outside assistance.

I don't know why you consider this a near-death experience, when from what I can tell, you just passed out. Granted you passed out while your brother was choking you, but you apparently came to almost immediately afterwards, requiring no resucitation at all. That's not near death, that's just blacking out. Frat boys all across the nation do that on a regular basis. Certainly not healthy, but its not going to kill you, though your brother might.

As for the above, and this being hell; well, life is what we make of it isn't it? Your mental barrier sounds like a neat trick, I usually end up flying in my dreams. Of course, being able to seperate dreams from reality is important, or else I'd do something foolish like jumping off a cliff.
Reality is what it is, not what we want it to be. Sometimes it surprises us because its not always what we think, but that's not the same thing exactly.

You're really vested into this for a reason I can't quite understand although I have my theories. Judgement isn't always a bad thing. Just because someone isn't supporting your potential delusions doesn't mean they don't have your best interests at heart. Find someone to talk to about this, or about your feelings that this world is hell. Be well.