Short rap I wrote

[spliffstar22]

comin up, a fucked up childhood,
i was like goddamn,
but now i'm on the block flippin
all the weight i can
don't get it twisted,
i ain't talkin bout a gram,
i'm talkin bout them bricks,
come on, hand me some grands

that's a couple lines off my mixtape, dropping soon, it's on the straight up menace beat

[Nochowderforyou]

You need some work on you're wiriting skills. MastaChronic said it, you need a huge vocab. to be write anything decent. Pick up a Thesorous(sp?) and find some more meaningful words to work with.

I like the opening line, but from there, it goes downhill.

The thing with rapping or hip-hopping, is the lyrics and words are your instrument. Using words in rap is like a guitar player playing a riff, or a bassist laying down a wicked bassline. Use the words as your weapon and instrument. Those words, I just see diarria of the mouth and hard talk. If you're going to rap hard, chose some better words.

My 2cents.

[Its a Plant]

...Stay in school and find a nice, secure 9-5...less disappointing that way...

That goes for most of the wannabes I see floating around here, too. ~

[spliffstar22]

Think what you want, im not no wannabe, i'm recording in a proper studio, being paid to record so say and think what you want to..... I'm signed to Headz Up Ent. which is in Toronto.......

[Its a Plant]

Lol, like I said...less disappointment...

As long as you not no nuthin', I'm cool g. ~

[suhl]

...Stay in school and find a nice, secure 9-5...less disappointing that way...

That goes for most of the wannabes I see floating around here, too. ~

hahahahahahaha its like you read my mind

[blazed620]

im not no wannabe...writing raps is just something i like to do in my free time. Is that wrong..?

I'll post a poem I wrote in another thread, and see what you think of it...i gues its something more "meaningful"....

[CanaDanKs Inc.]

You need some work on you're wiriting skills. MastaChronic said it, you need a huge vocab. to be write anything decent. Pick up a Thesorous(sp?) and find some more meaningful words to work with.

I like the opening line, but from there, it goes downhill.

The thing with rapping or hip-hopping, is the lyrics and words are your instrument. Using words in rap is like a guitar player playing a riff, or a bassist laying down a wicked bassline. Use the words as your weapon and instrument. Those words, I just see diarria of the mouth and hard talk. If you're going to rap hard, chose some better words.

My 2cents.

Actually no offense but as a beat maker, no rapper will ever replace my wicked basslines. :rasta:

[konqrr]

someone should start a freestyle/keystyle thread i think some stoners can write good stuff & include songs and/or poetry too not just rap

I hate keystylin cuz I cant add my flow to it like I could on a mic. Im not a serious MC or anything but its something I do when Im bored...just smoke a blunt and kick some rhymes.

[Mista Sippi]

someone should start a freestyle/keystyle thread i think some stoners can write good stuff & include songs and/or poetry too not just rap

http://boards.cannabis.com/showthread.php?t=80152

come drop some lines and keep the thread alive, even if it's amateur, I love checkin everybody's style.