Aliens exist, dun care who ya'll are, dem mothefuckers exist I'll tells ya!

I was abducted, dem aliens was all dress'd up like my drunk'n buds Ted n' Frank. Bunch o' fools dey wuz. I was all by myself, drunk off o' Moonshine and jus' whistlin', watchin' da sunset then I sees it right 'fore my very eyes! Dey gots a spaceship disguised as Ted's truck, kidnap'd me n' tells me to keep quiet, so's I did. Their alien planet look'd an aweful lot like Ted's backyard, den dey probbed me in my ass with sum device that look'd like a baseball bat. Damn dat hurt, but I didn't holler cuz I'm no pussy!

DEM MOTHERFUCKERS EXIST I TELL'S YAH!