I really appreciate all the responses and advice that everyone has given. It really means alot to me that even without knowing me this community on the whole seems very intent on helping people. thats fantastic

I think im going to go with a trial and error type of system to see where that leads me. The porn idea couple with communication seems like a good way to start possibly. Even a therapist doesnt seem to out of reach

Birdgirl, that story breaks my heart. I think its disgusting that Julie was given a point of view similar to my girlfriends without the ability to question it because of it being taught at such an early age. I feel like there is a lot of hope in my case, we love each other greatly and its something we both really want to work on. Ill let everyone know of the progress