I've been following this thread since it was created, and I think the ones who're saying it might be wise to move on are probably giving you good advice. That sex-is-bad religious programming is heavy stuff, and while marriage can help women with those attitudes feel less guilty and slightly more comfortable, it doesn't entirely take away that programming. It would take some serious therapy, and even then that's no guarantee. The other thing is the fact that if something's a problem during the courtship, it tends to be an even worse problem after marriage. Sad but true: marriage often magnifies problems.

This situation interests me because I have had a friend for many years, Julie, who was raised in a very religious home by a very old-fashioned grandmother, who gave her all the sex-is-bad programming, Julie's still very religious herself and is married to Todd, who is the nicest guy in the world. They didn't have a good sex life when they were still dating, which I've heard them both mention, but after they got married, it got even worse. Todd must be the most frustrated man in the world because Julie now completely refuses to have sex because she's so uncomfortable with it. They sometimes go for up to two years without having sex. That's nuts--and it's sad. I wouldn't want you to find yourself in a situation like that. I know Todd regrets that he is. He's told my husband it's a miserable thing to be married to someone with attitudes like that.