not as crazy about sex as I am?

[MarzVooolta]

Ive been in a longterm relationship with this girl and its pretty serious. If I continue on the path were going on I will prolly end up marrying this girl. We get along in all parts of life and we both have similar career goals and passions. We know were comfortable living with each other for a long time to come...

This girl grew up in a very closeminded, catholic ,overprotected household and pretty much had "sex is bad" jammed down her throat for as long as she can rememeber. So as you prolly already guessed it she isnt very open to sex. She says she wants to experiment and that she likes sex but she feels really awkward and doesnt know how to handle it. Ive tried handling this situation delicately but its really frustrating. Im very into sex and have a hard time explaining this to her to the level that I feel about it. Part of me wants to hold back about sharing things and "showing" her things because Im scared it might completely turn her off. How can I reverse what shes been taught her whole life.

Any girls go through this situation or know someone in this? guys and girls how would you handle it? (please dont post if your going to put some dumbass coment down) Sex is important to me but not so much that it would ruin the bond I have with this girl.

P.S ive had a human sexuality coarse and one thing that I rember about this situation is that some girls dont get turned on or have a good time until there married . From all the teachings there parents gave them

MarzVooolta Reviewed by MarzVooolta on 01-05-2007. not as crazy about sex as I am? Ive been in a longterm relationship with this girl and its pretty serious. If I continue on the path were going on I will prolly end up marrying this girl. We get along in all parts of life and we both have similar career goals and passions. We know were comfortable living with each other for a long time to come... This girl grew up in a very closeminded, catholic ,overprotected household and pretty much had "sex is bad" jammed down her throat for as long as she can rememeber. So as you Rating: 5

[slipknotpsycho]

my wife 'isn't a sexual person' (in her own words) and i'm not exactly what you'd call a 'sexual beast' either.... these types of things are the types of things that have, HAVE to happen from the other end.... as far as you can really go is expressing what you feel, and the other end has to take it the rest of the way.. if that really makes any sense to you (if it doesn't, basicly you can't force someone to be 'sexual' or do 'sexual' things, you can only show them or convince them how much you like said thing, and they have to make up their mind to do it or not..) if you try to force 'anything' you're only going to push her (or him however the case may be) farther away.. you're going to show them everything you don't want them thinking about you, and show them nothing of what you actually want them to see of you... all i can say, is invest emotion into it, tell them how you feel, get drunk, get high, do whatever it takes, as long as you release the emotion to them in a civilized (not abusive/beating) nature and to ultimately realize, if they really don't want to do whatever you want them to do, they won't... you can't make anyone do anything... all you can do is inform them how you feel and hope they make the 'right' decision (right meaning the decision you want them to make... not nessicarily there being a right or wrong decision in this or any matter)

[someuser]

Well, if you have the money go see a sex therapist. On the cheap, you can try to turn her onto the idea of renting and watching adult films together... Let her pick out what she is comfortable with and they try and reenact it in real-life... That, or have her WRITE down her fantasies if she feels uncomfortable talking about it... There are a lot of things you can do... Another one is, if you're not in good shape, go to the gym and get toned up... Some girls can be into your personality and money but not your looks and the sex suffers...

[B.Basher]

My older brother went out with a hardcore Christian for a year and a half. They were really really close but could never have sex. He never tried to convince her simply because he's a good guy and knows she's a bible basher. In the end, their indifferences (her religious hogwash and his free spirit) clashed too many times and they went through a very painful breakup (although mostly for my bro).

At the risk of sounding pessimistic or cynical, if this girl is bent on holding on to those beliefs then I believe it's a lost cause. A narrow minded partner will only cause you grief in the long run. If however she assures you she's willing to be turned then I would just be patient and give it time. It sounds like your pretty close and if that's the case, these things unfold naturally. Give her a lot of space when your getting physical and don't try to charge in there like a horny bastard. You've gotta give her time to get over her hangups and as long as it takes, it'll be worth it in the long run.

I wouldn't recommend taking any drugs beforehand (particularly weed). That's definitely the wrong way to go about this.

EDIT: Also, if it's any help. I was pretty hung up about sex when I got with my girlfriend two years ago. I was nervous and hesitant simply because I didn't know very much about it and didn't feel those emotions. She waited patiently for me for 6 months before we took it one step at a time. Now, without going into too much detail, it's aaalll good. It's just time man.

[friendowl]

she is an undercover freak [all womer are]
if you kiss good and have a swet touch
that catholic girl will be screaming gods name so loud
that the big man upstairs will hear for sure

dont be fooled by words
like scarface says
"the eyes never lie"

if not just buy her some cisco

[MastaChronic]

dude, i cant help you to get her more open minded about fucking, you have to figure that out on your own. every girl is different, but.....once you get her switched on its going to be great for you.

[dutch.lover]

Ive been in a longterm relationship with this girl and its pretty serious. If I continue on the path were going on I will prolly end up marrying this girl. We get along in all parts of life and we both have similar career goals and passions. We know were comfortable living with each other for a long time to come...

This girl grew up in a very closeminded, catholic ,overprotected household and pretty much had "sex is bad" jammed down her throat for as long as she can rememeber. So as you prolly already guessed it she isnt very open to sex. She says she wants to experiment and that she likes sex but she feels really awkward and doesnt know how to handle it. Ive tried handling this situation delicately but its really frustrating. Im very into sex and have a hard time explaining this to her to the level that I feel about it. Part of me wants to hold back about sharing things and "showing" her things because Im scared it might completely turn her off. How can I reverse what shes been taught her whole life.

Any girls go through this situation or know someone in this? guys and girls how would you handle it? (please dont post if your going to put some dumbass coment down) Sex is important to me but not so much that it would ruin the bond I have with this girl.

P.S ive had a human sexuality coarse and one thing that I rember about this situation is that some girls dont get turned on or have a good time until there married . From all the teachings there parents gave them

Hey, this is a tough situation but I think I know of someone who can help you out. If you know who Sue Johanson is (talk sex with sue, sunday night sex show) she has a website where you can email in questions, and they get answered by the webmaster of the site. I go on that site everyday and learn a lot because of it, i am sure the guy could help you out or at the very least recommend some books for you and her to check out regarding this subject. here's the link http://www.talksexwithsue.com/forum/index.html

i am sure this will help, definitely check it out.

I would personally recommend the book SEX FOR ONE by Betty Dodson. It's largely about masturbation (as that is what trains women to be good at sex and comfortable with it, and their bodies), but it is really about this woman's travels giving workshops to women who are sexually repressed. It talks about opening them up, and discusses their fears and whatnot. I have read it, but I think someone who is a little scared about sex would benefit from it far more than I did. It's a great book.

[dutch.lover]

[quote=someuser]renting and watching adult films together... Let her pick out what she is comfortable with and they try and reenact it in real-life...

This is a great idea, but if she isn't really comfortable with the regular porn (not many women are), try these videos called Better Sex videos, by the Sinclair Intimacy Institute. They are instructional videos, but they are really hot nonetheless and would give you guys great ideas of things to try.

[someuser]

...try these videos called Better Sex videos, by the Sinclair Intimacy Institute. They are instructional videos, but they are really hot nonetheless and would give you guys great ideas of things to try.

Somehow I think I would proably find those movies boring

No offence

But you're probably right. :stoned:

[dutch.lover]

No offense taken- i haven't actually watched these videos so i dunno if they're boring or not. I do know that they are commonly recommended for this situation though, and the "preferred" porn for women. These videos, and the movie Pirates, are two porn movies that women enjoy the most apparently. This info comes from a study/test done on talk sex with sue's website.