I wouldn't have:

Fallen off a train I tried to hop nearly decapitating myself in the process.
Climbed a mountain in AZ in my boxer shorts thinking I was Jesus Christ.
Whacked off in front of a bunch of people in the smoking room of a psychiatric ward.
Backpacked through the US without a dime in my pocket.
Puked on a lady after having sex.
Lost $1002 by leaving my wallet on a bench somewhere in NYC.
Flushed 2oz's down the toilet after a two Jehova's witnesses made me feel guilty for using illegal drugs.
Taken 8 hits of 'cid at one time and then proceed to break every window and mirror in my friend's house. Ahh...the trippin' days.
Peace!