a seal walks into a bar and the bartender says 'what'll you have?'
'anything but canadian club.'

a giraffe walks into a bar and says,"the high balls are on me."....


A polar bear walks into a bar and slams his front feet on the bar and says, " I'll have a ..............................Beer!"
The bartender says,
"What's with the big pause

Two stringbeans decide to cross the road.
One gets hit by a truck. So the other scrapes him off of the pavement and takes him to the Emergency Room.
The doctor comes out and says to the survivor, I have some good news and some bad news.
Hit me with the good news, Doc, the survivor says.
It looks like he'll live, the doctor says.
So what's the bad news?
It looks like he'll be a vegetable the rest of his life.

And finally, ...there was a man who sent 10 puns to some friends in
hopes at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately no pun
in ten did!!!

What do you get when a midget psychic escapes custody?
A small medium at large.

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?
He went around denying the existence of dog.