One more for you ...

Three Irish lads are walking along on a Saturday afternoon. They go past a Catholic church, when Tommy stops his mates.

"Wait here, lads," says he, "I have to go to confession." This surprises Pat and Michael, but they agree to remain in front of the church until their friend returns.

Tommy waits in the line for the confessional. Then he goes in, kneels, and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

"Yes, yes, my son," says the priest. "What have you done?"

"Well, I got drunk and said foul words," Tommy tells him. "What did you say?", asks the priest.

"Aw, shite, Father, I can't remember one God-damned thing after the sixth pint, now ya don't expect me to come up with a whole fuckin' speech for fuck's sake!", replies Tommy.

"I suppose not," murmurs the priest. "Go on."

"And Father, I had a very lewd thought," says Tommy. "Well, did you entertain the thought?", asks the priest.

"No, Father I did not. But it did entertain me!", Tommy says.

"Please continue," says the priest.

"Then, Father, last week I was with one of the girls from the parish," confesses Tommy.

"You mean you slept with her?", the priest inquires. "No, Father, I did not!", says Tommy. "In fact, I spent the whole night with her, and we didn't do any sleepin', I can tell ya that!".

The priest inhales deeply, and says, "Tell me her name." Tommy snaps back, "Father, I can't tell you that! I promised her I'd tell no-one!".

"You *must* tell me," insists the priest, "or your sins will not be forgiven! Was it, was it -- Kathleen O'Connor?"

"No, Father," says Tommy.

"You will tell me!", demands the priest. "Was it Mary Casey?".

"Father, no!", says Tommy.

"Was it ... Maureen O'Kelley?", says the priest.

"It was not!", replies Tommy, "And I am not going to tell you!".

"THAT'S IT!", shouts the priest. "Get out! Get out now! You are not absolved of your sins until you are willing to confess them!". And Tommy runs out of the church.

Finding his mates, he turns to them and says, "Lads, we're going out tonight -- with three of the easiest girls in the parish!".